Finding Home
by skywasmadeofamethyst
Summary: After Tara's death Chibs comes to a crossroads. He realizes that he needs Fiona and Kerrianne. He goes back to Belfast to build a life with is family. He decides that Juice needs salvation from the wrath of the MC and brings him to Belfast. There Juice meets a woman who makes him feel alive once again. Can Chibs and Juice find happiness? What will their lives be after SAMCRO?
1. Lost and Found

Chibs stood alone in the cemetery his eyes locked down on the place-marker that had just been installed by Scooter the funeral director. The grave was modest and Chibs couldn't help but to feel disappointed.

He felt guilty that Tara didn't have the biggest tallest most extravagant resting place money could buy.

Yes he knew that the place-marker was just temporary. Soon there would be a gravestone installed; Tara G. Knowles Beloved Mother and Wife. Dedicated Doctor.

The stone that had been picked out by Gemma was plain; granite with little roses engraved along the edges.

Chibs felt that she had deserved so much more than this. Tara had deserved more than this.

The funeral service had been small; quiet.

It had been just SAMCRO and a few of Tara's coworkers.

They'd all been stuffed into a small chapel located on the funeral home's grounds. There had been an abundance of flowers; roses, lilies, violets, and daisies. There had been pictures of Tara around the mahogany casket; pictures of her with her boys.

The casket had remained closed and Chibs was thankful for that. He knew that he couldn't have bared to see Tara like that; cold and waxy dressed in the simple blue dress Gemma had picked. They'd buried her with pictures of both Abel and Thomas and one picture from Jax's and her wedding.

The service had been filled with tears from everyone who had adored the good doctor.

Unser had taken over the reading of the eulogy.

It hadn't been much; a small snippet from Tara's obituary that had been printed in the Charming newspaper and a poem that had seemed appropriate.

Chibs felt his eyes begin to water as he remembered the poem.

_I will wait for you..._

_I will wait for you...  
Though we never had a chance to say goodbye,  
Remember me...  
When winter snows are falling through a quiet sky  
I'll remember you  
When, in our darkest hour,  
You held my hand and prayed I wouldn't go,  
But a silent voice called out to me;  
My time had come, and I had to travel Home..._

_Since then, I know your life has never been the same,  
For I visit you each day:  
So many times I've felt your pain:  
I've watched you cry:  
And I've heard you call my name..._

_But now, further along life's road I stand  
In a timeless world, just beyond your sight,  
Waiting for the day when I can take your hand and bring you across  
to this land of Golden Light..._

_Till then, remember me, you understand-and try not to cry.  
But if you do:  
Let your tears fall  
For the happiness and joy we knew,  
And for the special love we shared,  
For love can never die._

After that poem had been read there had not been a dry eye in the chapel.

Abel and Thomas had not been there for the funeral. It didn't seem right bringing children so young to such an event.

All little Abel knew was that his mommy had gone to heaven.

Chibs wasn't even sure if the boy understood it; the finality of it. Death was a strange concept for someone so young.

Thomas was of course too young to even grasp the fact that his mother was gone. He was too young to even truly know just how wonderful his mother had been. In a few years time he wouldn't even remember Tara.

That fact made this all the more painful.

Gemma had handled most of the funeral.

Jax was still locked up in county and Chibs had a feeling that even if the man had been here he wouldn't have been able to take on the task of burying his wife.

Chibs had helped with the funeral plans as much as he could. He had felt that it was his responsibility to give the doc a good send off.

Tara had been so dear to Chibs. He'd had such a strong respect for the woman.

He and Tara had bonded whilst applying stitches more than a few times.

Tara was so gifted; a natural born healer.

Tara had been one of the strongest women Chibs had ever had the privilege of knowing and calling a friend.

Chibs took a deep ragged breath as he bent down placing a small bundle of daises at the base of the place-marker.

He spoke his voice barely above a whisper. "Goodbye doc...see ya on the other side."

Chibs felt like his body weighed at least a ton or two as he trekked through the graveyard back to his bike.

He was lost. It wasn't just Tara's sudden and violent death that had made him feel this way.

Chibs had felt so lost for so long now.

The world he knew was crumbling around him. The club was falling apart.

The brotherhood he had once cherished seemed so flawed and broken now. He didn't feel as though he could trust a soul.

Everything was in shambles and he didn't see a way to fix it all again; at least in a way that it would feel the way it should.

Chibs kept thinking about the poor Teller boys. He couldn't stop thinking about them; about their loss. About the fact that they would grow into young strong men without their mother there to see it.

Seeing little Abel and Thomas made Chibs think of his Kerrianne.

Kerrianne had been Abel's age when Jimmy O' had scarred Chibs.

He could remember the last time he'd seen his baby girl before fleeing Ireland. She had been wearing a little green dress he'd bought her; it had a sweet little peter pan collar.

Kerrianne had loved that dress.

He could remember how she'd been sitting out on the front stoop of their crappy little apartment blowing bubbles.

He could remember how the bubbles had floated up around her how she had stared up at them her dark eyes wide with wonder.

He could remember how he had picked her up and spun her around; how she had giggled and squealed_ You're silly daddy. Put me down._

Chibs knew that he hadn't been the best father in these past few years.

He had failed to come visit his baby the way he'd promised. He had called and talked with her but that was about it.

The club had kept him out of Belfast.

He missed both Kerrianne and Fiona so much. He felt empty without them.

Fiona had always been the strong one in their relationship. He knew that most people wouldn't believe that, but it was true.

Fiona had been the one who had always been able to make him feel centered in the world. When shit around him was falling apart he had always been able to turn to his wife for comfort. She had been the one to remind him of what was important in this life; family and their love for one another.

He had never stopped loving his strong gorgeous Fi.

She had Chibs' heart and he wouldn't have it any other way.

She had been Chibs' first love. Fiona had captured his heart the second he'd laid eyes on her.

They had been young when they'd met; just two teenagers living in a bad part of Belfast.

He had fallen for her in an instant. All she'd had to do was give him one little smile and Chibs had been hers.

After he'd been kicked out of the military Fiona and he had married and soon there after their Kerrianne had been born.

His girls had been his world.

The past few years had made Chibs realize something. Through all the chaos and anger and madness Chibs had come to a sudden realization; that he needed his sweet strong girls.

He needed them like the air in his lungs.

Tara's death had made this even more clear to him. Life was too damn short to deny yourself of the things that made you feel whole.

And Chibs knew there were only two people on this planet that made him feel complete.

As Chibs mounted his motorcycle he found his hand reaching for his cell phone and his fingers dialing a familiar number.

Fiona barely had time to say a word as Chibs spoke the decision he'd made slipping from his lips. "I'm comin home Fi...I need ya."

And with that little statement Chibs Telford knew what his next move would have to be.

* * *

It was raining as Fiona climbed out of her small navy blue car. She pulled the gray scarf she'd pulled up over her wild curls a little tighter as she tried not to fall in the muddy road.

She had been dumbfounded when Chibs had called. She couldn't believe it. Her Filip was finally coming home.

Fiona had known that this was where he had belonged for so long now, but Chibs could be so stubborn.

It was one of the things Fiona loved about her husband. He was so damn driven, so loyal to what he felt was right.

It was something they had always had in common; their loyalty.

She loved Chibs. She had never stopped loving him for even a second.

He was the father to their child, the sweet passionate man she'd fallen for when they were just seventeen.

Fiona was almost tempted to pinch herself as she saw the black van come around the corner. She resisted the urge to check if this was some beautiful dream as she walked towards the van her heart slamming in her chest.

She couldn't stop herself from running to him as he exited the passengers side of the van.

Chibs held on to his wife as though she was a lifeline. He couldn't stop himself from lifting her up as he held her tight.

Their lips met as he finally lowered her back to the ground. When they pulled apart it was Fiona who spoke first. "Mo buachaill lómhara milis."

Chibs held her against him his lips pressing to every inch of skin he could reach. For the first time in years he felt a sense of calm.

He felt like he was finally home.

"I'm here love. I'm never leavin ya again Fi...I shoulda been here all along. I'm sorry that I've been so damn stupid. I will spend tha rest of my days tryin to make it righ love." Chibs blurted out guilt clouding his mind.

He had been such a damn fool.

He had chosen his club over his girls. Fiona should hate him right now. She should slap him and tell him that he was an idiot.

But his patient strong girl didn't do any of those things.

Fiona shook her head giving him a small smile. "I know Filip. I know. You're home now that's all that matters."

Chibs let out a heavy sigh as he reached into the pocket of his heavy cotton hoodie pulling out a folded up sheet of paper.

He handed it to Fiona allowing her to read it as he spoke. "I need ya to find a way to bring him here love."

"Juice?" Fiona blurted out her brow furrowing.

Chibs nodded his head letting out a heavy huff. "Aye Fi. I can't jus leave him in Charming. He's on deaths doorstep love. Tha club has turned on him. He needs me...I'm all he has."

Fiona nodded her head not too shocked to hear this. Her husband had a big heart.

He loved and he loved deep.

"Okay sweet boy. I'll see what I can do." She replied their lips joining one another again.

Chibs smiled down at his wife as he spoke up. "Where's our baby?"

Fiona pressed a hand to his temple her hand running through his hair as she spoke. "She's at school love. She wanted ta come. She'll see ya tonigh. She's makin us dinner, yer favorite Irish Stew."

Chibs nodded his head not helping but to lean against Fiona's touch.

She pressed her lips to his cheek as she spoke up. "Let's go home."

Chibs' smile grew upon hearing this. Home.

He was finally going home.

* * *

_So a friend on Tumblr wanted me to write this fic after I mentioned the idea for it. It's going to be a fluffy fic about Chibs and his girls, as Well as Juice and a Irish woman who he falls hard for._

_It will be about Chibs and Juice redefining what home means to them. _

_I hope you enjoy it. I know it wasn't very dialogue heavy, but the next chapter should be better._

mo buachaill lómhara milis = (Irish Gaelic) My sweet precious boy


	2. Memory Lane and A Favor

Fiona helped Chibs place the three duffel bags he'd taken with him from Charming; full of clothing, shoes, and a few precious photographs. Most of what remained in the crappy little house he'd been renting in Charming would be hauled off by a moving company he'd hired before he left and shipped to Fiona's home address.

Things like furniture and dishes would be donated to charity. There were only a few things Chibs cared enough about to bring along with him to his new life; his motorcycle for one; the two seater. The one seater Dyna had already been sold to a young lad who'd responded to an ad Chibs had placed in the Charming newspaper.

He found himself wanting to hold on to the two seater Harley easily imagining himself riding it in Ireland Fiona on the back of it her arms tight around his waist.

When Fiona and he had first started going steady Chibs had drove them around on the old red Panhead Harley he'd owned back then; the two of them speeding down the street and out along the countryside Fiona holding to tight to him.

His Fiona was the only woman he'd ever allowed on the back of his bike. The backseat was meant for _his woman_ and he refused to let any croweaters even think about touching his backseat through out the years Fiona and he had spent apart.

He hoped that now that his beloved Fi and he were reunited that they could ride just like they used to all those years ago.

Chibs had requested for the moving company to take the boxes he'd left filled with his laptop, several of his favorite novels, a few photo albums, and his records.

Chibs knew he really wouldn't need very much from his old life in Charming. His life in Belfast would be with Fiona and Kerrianne in their home. Their home would become his home for the rest of his days.

He settled down into the passengers seat of Fiona's old blue nineteen sixties Humber Sceptre his body melting into the soft seat. The car was a classic; it had once belonged to Fiona's grandmother and though she had the money for something a little more modern she'd never been able to part with the old car.

Chibs turned to look at Fiona as she climbed into the drivers side and started the car quick to flip on the heat.

Chibs was easily mesmerized by the sight of her as she pulled the soft gray scarf she'd been wearing around her hair down around her neck, revealing those gorgeous wild curls of hers that Chibs had always loved so.

With age her dark locks had developed little hints of gray. She'd allowed her hair to keep one dramatic streak of gray around the right upper side of her curls.

Chibs found her all the more beautiful with the gray. He knew his wife wasn't the type to not let vanity take control of her life. She wore her grays proudly and it looked so elegant on her.

Fiona never wanted to be one of those women who clung to signs of youth. She felt that age showed a life lived and showing that age demonstrated that she was content with that life.

Fiona spoke as she pulled the car back out onto the muddy road more than ready to leave the countryside and head back into the city. "Ya should get some sleep lovey. Ya look all worn."

Chibs smiled at her knowing that she was right. He was exhausted. He had barely slept at all on the flight over; his mind too full of worries and excitement.

He was tempted to blurt out the first thought that ran through his drowsy jet lagged mind: _That he was afraid to close his eyes because he didn't want to wake up and realize that this had all been a dream. He didn't want to open his eyes and discover that he was back in SAMCRO's clubhouse without his wife. _

He held that thought back though his eyes watching her hands as she drove. He felt his heart sink as he stared at her left ring finger seeing that it was bare.

Chibs hated knowing that Jimmy O'Phelan had taken Fiona's wedding ring and engagement ring tossing them away out in the trash like they were nothing.

Fiona would never tell anyone how she'd locked herself up in the bathroom turned on the shower and sobbed when those precious rings had been ripped away from her.

She had never let Jimmy O' see her cry over the loss. She hadn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of knowing that it had hurt her.

Fiona had never let Jimmy O'Phelan see her pain. She never allowed him to know just how much he'd broken her.

Jimmy had forced her to wear a silver band on her finger after he'd _married _her in a non legal ceremony.

Though by law she'd still been Fiona Larkin Telford, to everyone in her life she'd from then on been referred to as Fiona O'Phelan.

Chibs quickly came to the realization that he wanted to buy his Fiona a new engagement ring and new wedding band. He would buy a wedding band as well.

Perhaps they could have a small ceremony to recommit themselves to one another. It would be a sign of a new start for the two of them; their new life.

He knew deep down inside though that a new better bigger ring would never replace that engagement band he'd bought for Fiona all those years ago.

He closed his eyes his mind drifting back to the day he'd proposed. As he drifted off into a light slumber his mind went back to when he was only twenty three and full of hope and promise.

_Fiona let out a heavy huff as she pulled young Filip Telford along through the grassy emerald fields. He was always such a grump when it came to being out in the great outdoors._

_Filip was such a city boy. He'd grown up in Glasgow Scotland roaming the rough streets of his neighborhood with a pack of local children; raising hell._

_Then he'd moved on to Belfast Ireland with his ma. Anne Telford had looked for a better life moving his sister and he into a tiny apartment right down the street from Fiona Larkin and her family._

_Fiona Larkin had grown up in Belfast of course surrounded by her father her mother and her three younger brothers. _

_They were third generation IRA on her da's side. Her ma was first generation. Lorna had been brought into the cause by Daniel. Daniel Larkin was raising his children to be warriors for the cause; strong and loyal. _

_Fiona's grandfather though had felt that his only granddaughter needed to see more of their beloved Ireland than the city. He had taken Fiona out to the country and she had learned to appreciate it's beauty._

_Fiona would never tell anyone but her dream was to one day have a little cottage out in the countryside. _

_She knew that her loyalties belonged to the IRA and she would gladly die fighting for the cause. She hoped though that she would make it to old age and from there she would find a peaceful life with hopefully a free Ireland. _

_She could picture it all in her mind; a cozy little cottage with a big vegetable garden in the back and a hen coop. _

_She imagined herself as a tiny old woman living off the land, waking up to the sound of a rooster each morning, drinking her morning tea and eating fresh eggs and fresh peppers and tomatoes. _

_As Fiona had fallen in love with Filip Telford she had found herself picturing him there in that cottage with her as well, as a grouchy old man reading the morning paper and drinking his tea with her._

_Fiona had been surprised when Filip had picked her up from her parents little shop a picnic basket and red tartan blanket in hand. _

_He had taken the day off of work at the garage he'd been working at as a mechanic. He had kept his surprise a secret for weeks now planning it when Fiona was out of the couple's tiny apartment. _

_They had taken Fiona's old car out of the city knowing that it would have more room for all the supplies for a perfect picnic. _

_Fiona had allowed Filip to drive her car though he drove far too fast and far too recklessly for her. He was more accustomed to riding his Harley than driving a car._

_The young couple laid back on the tartan blanket thankful that the day was warm and dry. It was a rarity in on the Emerald Isle._

_Filip smiled down at Fiona her face youthful and still holding a bit of baby-fat. Her hair was as dark as the night sky and her eyes were a deep chocolate that he adored. _

_She was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Twenty two year old Fiona was his queen fully and completely. _

_He knew that people in their lives could often be judgmental. Being an interracial couple in the early nineties wasn't a walk in the park. People said nasty things and more often than not Filip found himself delivering black eyes and kicks. _

_Small minded people weren't Fiona and his only critics though. Fiona's father Daniel Larkin didn't like the young scrappy Scot romancing his only daughter. _

_Filip Telford would never be more than a street rat from Glasgow in Daniel's eyes. _

_Daniel felt that Fiona's childhood friend Jimmy O'Phelan was a more appropriate match for his daughter. _

_Daniel believed that a true born Irish man was a better choice to lead the next generation of Larkin's on into the cause. _

_Fiona was Daniel's little princess. And truthfully she was his favorite child; she had been raised under his watchful eye. _

_Jimmy O' and his father were loyal warriors for the IRA and Daniel trusted Jimmy more than the Scot who'd only just joined the cause after hearing Fiona's tales and patriotism to the idea of a free Ireland._

_Jimmy O's father and Daniel Larkin had spent a long while now planning their childrens future together. Now it seemed that this future would never happen. _

_It angered Daniel to know Jimmy O's father Peter didn't seem to care that his would be daughter in law wasn't falling in line. At least young Jimmy cared. Daniel still held hope that Jimmy would be able to win Fiona's heart. _

_Daniel didn't believe that Filip was truly dedicated to the cause. He felt that the young man's Scottish blood would always hold him back from being a good strong warrior. _

_Filip hated the way Daniel looked at him as though he was rotten garbage that had gotten on Daniel's leather shoes. _

_Filip was just thankful that young strong-strong-willed Fiona ignored her father's disapproval. She knew that her heart belonged to that scrappy Scot and she didn't care what anyone said._

_She had fallen for him the second he'd caught her sight. He was so handsome; tall and strong with wiry muscles. She loved his dark expressive eyes and his brown hair. She loved the light traces of freckles along his shoulders and his back. She even loved the silly anarchy symbol he'd gotten inked onto his arm after a drunken night on the town. _

_His face was smooth and free of those scars that Jimmy O'Phelan would one day gift him with. _

_Fiona and her Filip were oblivious to their fate. For now they were two young lovers lying out in a field underneath the shade of a thick Ash Tree._

_Filip ran his through Fiona's curls and along her cheek unable to get enough of the feel of her silken skin. She turned leaning against his touch slow and languorous as she soaked up his touch. "Ya spoil me sweet boy."_

"_Aye and yer worth every second of it my love." Filip replied reaching down to pluck another bitter sweet blackberry from the container he'd brought along with them and placing it in Fiona's mouth._

_She let out a soft giggle as she ate the berry. He had packed all her favorite foods; blueberries and blackberries, thick slices of soda bread, smooth cheeses, dark chocolate, and of course a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey._

_They'd been lying here for a while now enjoying the food and drink soaking up one another's company._

_It was like heaven to Fiona. She felt as though she could lie here with Filip and pretend that all those who judged their relationship didn't exist. It was as though they were in their own world; just the two of them and the beauty of the countryside._

_Filip frowned his stomach rolling as he dared to ask. "Yer da didn't throw too much of a fit when ya left righ?...I heard yellin."_

_The smile fell from her lips as she spoke. "He was a bit upset...he wanted me to watch the shop, but ma talked to him...reminded him I'm a grown woman now."_

_He nodded his head thankful for Lorna Larkin. The woman was kind enough to him. She didn't let her husband's opinions of the young Scot taint her treatment of him._

_Lorna was smart enough to realize that Fiona was an adult; in her early twenties now. She knew that if Daniel and she pushed Filip away that Fiona would leave them. She would go off with Filip and never speak to them again._

_So Lorna had excused Fiona from her cashier job at the Larkin family's small Sweets and Baked Goods Shop and had let Fiona go have a day away from it all._

_Fiona spotted the irritation in Filip's eyes at the thought of he father. She reached up smoothing back his shaggy dark locks as she spoke. "Ya know I don't care what my da says love. I don't care what he thinks of ya. I know who ya are."_

_She paused pressing her lips to his as she spoke again. "Yer the strong sweet lad I fell fer when I was jus seventeen. I loved ya from the second we said hello."_

_The pair grinned remembering their first meeting. Filip had been out on the playground at the apartments they both lived in. He'd been watching his little sister Cait play out on the swings knowing that his mother Anne didn't trust the ten year old girl to be out on her own outdoors._

_The neighborhood was filled with gangs and danger. Anne Telford trusted her teenage boy to watch his sister knowing that he'd always been the child's father figure. _

_After her husband Arthur had left the family eight years ago Filip had become the man of the house. _

_Fiona had walked up to Filip and sat on the bench beside him as her little brothers played. Fiona had just said hello and jumped right into talking to Filip. From that moment on he was hers._

_She and he had talked for hours. Fiona was such an extravert full of energy, jokes and stories. She had found it easy to talk to the young Scottish neighbor. _

_From that day on they'd spent every afternoon sitting out on that playground telling stories to one another and falling in love with each word._

_Fiona pressed a deep kiss to his lips as she spoke again. "I plan on spendin the rest of my days by yer side gra mo chroi."_

_Filip took Fiona by surprise as he sat up reaching for his thick black leather motorcycle jacket. She watched him reach into the pocket of his jacket a look of confusion on her face._

_Filip kept the blue velvet box hidden from sight placing it behind him as he laid back down. He had picked the ring box going for a steely blue velvet box over a traditional black box or a more romantic red box._

_The stormy blue was Fiona's favorite color and Filip hoped she would notice that he'd remembered._

"_What are ya up to love?" Fiona asked a smile spreading across her face though her eyes remained serious. _

_He grinned at her leaning in and rubbing his nose against hers in an Eskimo Kiss. He spoke his voice soft and filled with utter adoration. "Yer the smartest woman I know love...yer the most passionate and courageous woman I've ever met. I loved ya from the second ya talked to me on that playground...I still remember what ya were wearin. Ya were wearin that big gray sweater ya loved over that gray skirt of yers...the knee length one that ya wore on our firs date. And ya had on those combat boots ya used ta run round in even though it made yer ma complain. Ya were the firs real friend I made in Belfast and yer still my best friend."_

_He paused reaching for the box placing it in between them. Fiona stared down at her eyes growing wide as he spoke again. "Yer the only woman other than my ma and my sister whose ever told me when ya thought I was full of shite...ya never even stop to think before ya tell me off...and I love that bout ya. Ya say what ya think and ya don't care if it bothers anyone."_

_Fiona chuckled her hand reaching up to caress his cheek as she responded to this. "Most people think that's one of my worse traits lovey."_

_He grinned at this a soft laugh escaping his throat. "Aye...I don't care though. I love yer temper Fi. Yer headstrong and I know we butt heads sometimes...I wouldn't trade it for anythin on the planet though. Yer stubborn and it's the sexiest thing on the planet. I know that yer da doesn't think I'm good nough fer ya...I know a lot of people don't think we should be together. I don't care about any of that shite though...I love ya Fiona Larkin. Bein with ya makes me feel like the luckiest lad in all of Ireland. I want to grow old with ya. I want to spend every second of our lives together makin ya laugh and makin ya feel beautiful. I wanta wake up in yer arms and fall asleep tangled up beside ya."_

_He paused taking a deep breath as he opened the velvet box revealing the ring inside. "Which is why I'd be a fool if I didn't ask ya this...Fiona Paige Larkin will ya be my wife?"_

_He felt his heart drop as he noticed the tears in Fiona's eyes. Was she about to tell him no? Was it the ring?_

_He knew that the ring wasn't impressive at all. It was a tiny chip of a diamond resting on a thin gold band._

_He had saved and scrapped together the money to buy it. He felt guilty knowing that he couldn't afford more. He could barely pay his half of their rent though. They struggled to survive and there was no place for an extravagant ring in their budget._

_His fears faded from his mind as Fiona spoke her tears being revealed as tears of joy. "Aye...Yes. Yes I'll marry you."_

_He wasted no time to slip the ring on her finger their lips colliding against one anothers. _

_A year later after a lot of planning and scrapping together the cash Filip Telford and Fiona Larkin would marry in a small ceremony without the Larkin family's disapproval. _

_And on Filip's thirty first birthday Fiona would come to him with news that she was carrying their first and only child._

_Four years after that they would lose their family to a jealous angry man. _

* * *

Chibs awoke from his slumber Fiona shaking his arm her voice soft and amused. "Hey snorey we're home."

Chibs blinked the sleep from his eyes ignoring her playful jab at his habit of snoring when he got into a good deep sleep.

He let his eyes study his new home. It was a two story duplex. There were a few of them on this street and Chibs couldn't help but to love how cheerful it all looked despite the foggy weather. There were rose bushes along the driveway and tall trees planted in the back yard. This particular building only held two homes.

Fiona spoke as they left her car and retrieved his bags from the trunk. "Kerrianne and I have been livin here since Jimmy O' left Ireland...Saoirse O'Connell lives in the flat next door."

Chibs smiled hearing this familiar name. "Our Saoirse?"

"See fer yerself." Fiona replied as the front door to the flat on the right opened revealing a young pale brunette woman.

Chibs was ambushed by a hug as the young woman left her house. She spoke her voice light and excited. "Uncle Filip. Yer home."

Chibs grinned down at the girl as she released him from her hold. "Aye I am lass...It's been so long."

"Almost four years now. I haven't seen ya since ya and tha lads from Charming left Belfast...since Padriac...since I lost him." Saoirse replied her full lips pulling into a tight smile.

She stared up at Chibs her wide dark eyes filled with total admiration for the man.

Chibs wasn't actually Saoirse O'Connell's biological uncle nor was Fiona her biological aunt.

Fiona and Filip Telford were Saoirse's godparents.

Saoirse's father Ian O'Connell had grown up with Fiona's mother. Ian was quite fond of young Fiona Larkin and Filip Telford so it was no surprise when the man had made Fiona and Chibs his only child's godparents.

And it had been a good thing Ian had written this all out on paper.

Ian O'Connell had met a tragic end soon after Jimmy O'Phelan had taken power.

Jimmy had said that the man's death had been a sad accident, but everyone knew the truth.

Ian had been one of Jimmy's biggest critics. He had seen Jimmy for who he really was; a flat out criminal who used the cause to gain his own desires.

Ian was faithful to the cause so faithful that he'd named his daughter Saoirse. The old traditional name meant freedom in Irish Gaelic.

Fiona had taken in little Saoirse soon after her father had died. The young girl's mother had died in childbirth and her biological uncle was an old drunk barely able to raise his own son. So Fiona had been all she'd had.

Jimmy O'Phelan hadn't been too welcoming to little Saoirse, but he'd tolerated the child. He knew that it wouldn't look very good him denying a faithful IRA soldier's young orphaned daughter.

Chibs studied the girl his stomach dropping when he noticed just how gaunt she looked. The past four years had been hard on her.

The silver chain she wore around her neck and the golden skull biker ring hanging from it told the story behind her sorrow.

Saoirse had loved Chibs' nephew Padriac Telford with every cell in her body. He had been her first love and she couldn't help but to think at times that he would be her last.

It had been so easy for her to fall madly in love with Padriac. The young witty Scottish biker had swept Saoirse right off her feet.

Padriac had been so handsome; tall and funny and tough. He had romanced her so easily.

She still wore a crow for the man; inked into her right wrist. She had become his old lady the second she'd turned nineteen.

Padriac's death had haunted her and Fiona and Kerrianne were the only thing that had kept her going since Padriac had died.

Fiona had pulled Saoirse out of bed after she'd spent almost a month in bed drugged up out of her mind on pills.

Saoirse knew that without her beloved Auntie Fi she would have never survived the loss of her true love.

Fiona was so proud of Saoirse. She saw the young woman as a second daughter.

Saoirse had grown into a truly stunning woman with dark long brown hair that held little hints of red in it, a larger upturned nose, an oval face, with wide downward turned dark eyes and a bright wide smile.

Chibs felt ashamed as he spoke his voice soft and sorrowful. "I'm sorry I couldn't be ere to bury our Paddy. I know ya loved him so much Sha. And I know he loved ya."

Saoirse gave him a small smile the little nickname Chibs had given her when she was just a young girl providing her some comfort. "I know Filip...Pad was...he was everythin to me. He loved ya so much...He was always talkin bout how ya used to bring he and his ma sweets and take him out fer rides on yer bike. He wanted ta be jus like ya...He died a hero, protectin his brothers and yers. I'm proud to have loved him. I'll never stop lovin him."

Chibs pressed a kiss to the girl's cheek his heart heavy with grief.

He felt a stab straight through his heart as Saoirse pulled away from him her eyes damp with tears. "I'll leave ya and Fi ta get settled in...I'm righ next door if ya ever need anythin."

And with that she pulled away trotting back to her house and shutting the door behind her.

Fiona spoke shaking her head at the closed door. "She's better than she was a few months ago..She misses him."

Chibs nodded his head cursing himself for not remaining in Belfast when SAMCRO had left almost four years earlier.

He should have been here for his family.

He didn't have time to even mention this as he spotted her coming down the road; his baby.

Kerrianne looked up from the ground her eyes growing wide as she spotted her father.

She yanked her earbuds from her years shoving them and her Ipod into her purple messengers bag before she made a run towards him.

Chibs lifted the girl up holding her close as he spoke. "I've missed ya so lass. How big ya've grown."

This little statement was true. Kerrianne had just turned eighteen and she'd grown a little taller and a little fuller.

Her hair was still just as long but she now wore it pilled high on her head in a messy updo. She wore her school uniform; a plain red knee length skirt and a white long sleeved blouse.

She was in her final year of schooling and hopefully next year she would move on to a good university.

Kerrianne spoke her voice bubbly and light. "Yer home."

"Aye and I'm never leavin again baby girl. I love ya so much." Chibs replied lowering the girl down to the ground finally.

Kerrianne took his hand pulling him towards the house as she spoke her voice still so full of excitement. "Come see tha house da. We got a cat."

Fiona smiled as Kerrianne pulled her father along the two of them practically running toward their home.

She let out a sigh realizing she'd been left with the bags _just typical. _

Fiona placed Chibs' bags right in the doorway before she made her way across the duplexs' shared yard.

She knocked on her goddaughters door speaking up her voice firm. "Open up dear."

Saoirse cracked the door peeking out at her Auntie Fi, her eyes full of tears. "I know what yer goin to say...be strong."

"I'm not goin to say that. I know ya know to stay strong...yer trying Saoirse. I know that. Yer in pain but I know ya understand Padriac would want ya to stay strong...I hate tha ask but I need a favor." Fiona remarked giving the young woman a sad smile.

Though Saoirse was a grown woman of twenty six now, Fiona still sometimes saw that little girl who'd been brought into Jimmy O' compound after her da's funeral.

"Aye what is it?" Saoirse asked doing her best to wipe at her eyes.

She hated crying in front of anyone. Fiona had always raised her to be strong. Fiona was the only mother figure Saoirse had ever known, given that her own ma had died giving birth to her.

Fiona pulled the sheet of paper Chibs had given her from her pocket handing it to Saoirse. "I need yer cousin Nate ta find this lad...We need ta bring him here. He's Filip's friend and he's in danger love. We'll need ya to let him stay with ya till he gets off his feet. I know it's a bit ta ask of ya, but yer the only one I think Chibs would trust ta do this fer us."

Fiona knew that Nathan O'Connell would be the perfect man to find and extract Juice from Charming. Nate was a IRA follower and he was loyal to his cousin Saoirse. If Saoirse asked him to do something he did it without question.

Saoirse nodded her head without even missing a beat. "I would do anythin fer ya and Filip auntie. Ya know yer the only family I have. I'll call Nate tonight and tell him that this has ta be done quickly and discreetly."

Fiona gave the young woman hug Saoirse sinking against her. Saoirse closed her eyes soaking up Fiona's comfort.

She wasn't lying she loved her godparents and would walk the end of the earth for them.

If Fiona and Chibs needed her to play babysitter and hostess to this Juice Ortiz then she would do it without question.

She just hoped that this wasn't a decision she'd live to regret.

* * *

_Reviews? Constructive Criticism?_

_Saoirse is pronounced sear + sha and it's Irish Gaelic for freedom. I picture her is looking a little like Anne Hathaway._

_Sorry to the person who thought Kerrianne and Juice were going to hook up, They aren't sorry. _

_Gra Mo Chori= (Irish Gaelic) Love of My heart._

_I hope you're still enjoying this and I hope I'm keeping the characters true to form. Thanks for your support._


	3. Home Sweet Home and A Lifeline

Chibs allowed Kerrianne to drag him around the house and show him every nook and cranny of his new home. It was all so gorgeous full of soft colors. He could tell that Fiona had done the decorating. The home was filled with her favorite colors; soft ivories, powder and steely blues, soft grays, and light delicate purples.

The home was modestly decorated but it felt so welcoming. There were plenty of photographs and candles and lots of little trinkets. Fiona had always loved the little porcelain deers that had once belonged to her grandmother and she'd taken a habit of decorating her home with little white and pink deer figurines.

Fiona had always had a soft spot for deer and fawn. She loved anything to do with the forest and nature. Her grandparents had taught her a lot about wildlife; plants, animals, and such. She had carried this love into adulthood.

Chibs chuckled as his daughter drug him into her bedroom her voice filled with excitement. "This is my room da. Saoirse helped me decorate. She took me shopping and bought me posters and this bed. She takes me shopping all the time. She got me makeup and new perfume for Christmas last year...she takes me clothes shoppin too. Ma always tries ta dress me like a dork...Saroise has better taste."

Chibs resisted the urge to scrunch his nose up at the mention of makeup and perfume. His baby girl was way too young for that kind of thing...wasn't she?

He let out a heavy sigh realizing that Kerrianne wasn't too young. She was eighteen now; a grown woman technically by law at least.

God he'd been away for so long hadn't he? She had grown up so fast and he'd missed it all.

He took a deep breath reminding himself that it wasn't too late. He still had time to grow closer to his little love. He had no one to keep her from him now; no SAMCRO, no Jimmy O', none of his damn loyalty or pride.

He bit the inside of his cheek resisting the urge to say anything about Kerrianne wearing make up. He didn't want to start out their first day together nagging the girl.

He studied Kerrianne's room every inch of it so beautiful and perfect. Her white iron twin bed was covered with a cheerful green and blue quilt and the sheets and pillow cases were a peacock-blue.

Kerrianne had always loved the color blue and the color green even when she was just a wee toddler. Chibs smiled at the thought. His baby girl was so tough. She had never wanted to be a girly girl; just like her ma in that way.

He could remember how she'd always reached for toy cars and robots shunning the dolls her grandmother had given her. She was such a tomboy.

He knew that wasn't so true now of course; it was clear from the makeup, jewelry and the feminine clothing that his little girl had grown into a lady.

There were a few posters on the walls; Adele, Amy Winehouse, and Beyonce. He twisted his mouth a bit at this. He hadn't listened to any of these artists...well he had listened to Amy Winehouse and he was pretty impressed with her, but he'd die from embarrassment if anyone knew that.

He stared at the white wooden dresser and the white vanity table. It was a typical teenage girl's bedroom filled with necklaces and rings and candles. There was a bright red butterfly kite hanging over the dresser and beaded plastic purple and yellow curtains on the window over the white linen curtains.

Chibs walked over to the dresser picking up a familiar stuffed light brown bear wearing a little yellow sweater. "Ya kept this babygirl?"

"Aye I keep all yer gifts da." Kerrianne replied as though the question was ridiculous."

He gave his daughter a soft smile his heart singing at this little comment. "I worried ya'd think the bear was a bad birthday gift...I mean it was fer yer sixteenth birthday love. That's why I put that Itunes card with that gift. I thought ya'd think ya were too old fer a stuffed animal."

Kerrianne walked up beside him allowing him to hug her as he placed the bear back on the dresser. She spoke her face muffled by her father's chest. "I love all yer gifts da...I did love the Itunes card too though."

He tried not to frown as Kerrianne went over to her bed picking up a fat gray tabby cat. She lifted it up the cat going limp in her hold and staring up at Chibs it's blue eyes staring at him dumbly. "This is Tonks. Tonks this is Da."

"Ya named the cat Tonks?" Chibs blurted out raising an eyebrow at the strange name.

She let out a huff as she placed the cat on the ground only to have it let out a whimpy sounding meow before it waddled from the room. "Aye. She's named after Nymphadora Tonks da."

"Nypmawho?" Chibs blurted out the name not ringing a bell.

"She's a character from Harry Potter da...she was Remus Lupis' wife and she's one of the best characters ever." Kerrianne exclaimed shaking her head as her father continued to stare at her blankly.

He shook his head shrugging his shoulder a little embarrassed that he had no idea what his daughter was talking about. He'd heard of the books; Juice had gone to see the movies and had talked about it, but he'd tuned out the man's geeking out over it. "Never read the books love."

She dropped her jaw staring up at her father aghast to hear this. "What?...What about the movies?"

"I havent' had the time Kerri...Aint they jus kids books." He replied not really seeing the big deal.

Kerrianne let out another gasp even more stunned by this comment. She made her way over to the little bookshelf by her bed pulling the first book in the series from the shelf and shoving in her dad's hands. "Read the book da. It's more than jus a kids book. It's amazin. I can' believe ya never read it."

He chuckled staring down at the book in his hands. It wasn't too terribly thick. He guessed he could read it if it meant that much to his daughter.

He stared at the open door as Fiona leaned against the door frame smiling at the two most precious people in her world. "Are ya two havin fun?"

Chibs held up the book chuckling a bit. "Aye our daughter's givin me a readin assignment."

"Aye. She's practicin fer her future." Fiona responded chuckling.

Kerrianne spoke up a shy smile on her face. "I'm goin to be a school teacher like Aunt Cait. I wanta teach literature...or creative writin. I don't know which yet."

Chibs swelled up with pride upon hearing this. He was so thankful that his Kerrianne wanted a normal life for herself. He had longed feared that the girl would get caught up in her parents demons. He had even feared that Kerrianne would find herself hooked up with some biker as an old lady.

He wanted more for his girl. He knew of course that she might find herself in the IRA. Kerrianne had been raised around the cause. She understood the importance of fighting for a free Ireland. Her ma was a strong IRA warrior after all.

Chibs knew of course that if she did find herself involved somehow that there was nothing he could do about it. Kids had to make their own mistakes and choices. He just prayed that she stayed safe.

More than anything he wanted his girl to be happy with her life. He wanted her safe from danger just like any other parent on this earth.

He pressed a kiss to his daughter's cheek his voice revealing just how proud he was. "Ya will be a great teacher lass. Yer the smartest girl I know."

Kerrianne smiled up at her father feeling just like a little girl all over again. She was so thankful that he was here. She had missed him so much.

She reluctantly pulled away from him as she spoke up. "I better get started on dinner."

"Do ya have any homework?" Fiona blurted out knowing that even if her daughter was technically an adult she wasn't going to get out of keeping up with her school work.

"Ma it's Friday." Kerrianne replied not rolling her eyes until she was out of sight.

Fiona let out a huff shaking her head a bit at this comment. "She has yer attitude."

Chibs gave his wife a grin making his way over to her and embracing her as he spoke. "I think I remember a certain seventeen year old lass ya may know who had a mouth like that as well."

She twisted her lips trying not to smile at this statement. He was right of course she had been a hellion as a teenager. "Aye that's true...I didn't talk back to my ma too often though. She woulda spanked my arse so hard I couldn't walk fer a week. I guess we should count our blessings. Kerrianne could take after us fully."

"Aye she could. Ya remember that time we snuck out and went to that wee bar to watch that rock band. We both got shitefaced and fell asleep at that park under those trees wrapped up in our leather jackets. Yer da almost killed me when I brought ya back the next mornin." he remembered laughing. He hadn't thought of that night in so long. Before it was always so painful to remember.

"Aye I remember. He almost fell over dead when he saw that dress I was wearin. That wine red mini dress ya liked on me. I wore it with my combat boots and those huge gold hoop earrings...My ma hated it when I wore those earrings. She said they were goin to stretch out me ears. She thought I wore my makeup too dark too...oh and she hated yer Harley. She was convinced ya were goin to wind up killin me on that thing. She bout died when ya got me that helmet and that leather jacket fer Christmas. She told me ya were turnin me into some biker babe." Fiona recalled laughing as well.

She paused an affectionate nostalgic smile on her face as she reached up to smooth back his salt and pepper locks. "We were so wild Filip. We thought we'd be young and free forever."

He pressed a kiss to her lips as he spoke. "Now we're old and free."

Fiona gave him a playful shove a smirk on her face. "Who are ya callin old lovey?"

He shook his head laughing so hard. He had missed this playfulness they'd always shared with one another. It was so nice to feel this way again. He'd been afraid they'd lost that side of their relationship after all the horrors they'd experienced. "Jus me love. Yer still jus as young as ya always were."

He was unable to stop himself from speaking up as she lead him out of their daughters room downstairs to the living room. "Do ya still have that dress...jus wonderin?"

Fiona let out a huff. "Ya ruined that dress fer me forever when ya got me pregnant with Kerrianne. My arse was never the same."

"It looks wonderful to me Fi." Chibs remarked taking in the view of her tight backside as she walked in front of him down the dark wooden spiral staircase leading down to the big open living room and dining area.

The tiny kitchen was located beside the dining area and the door to the downstairs bathroom was connected to the living room.

The upstairs bathroom was located in between Fiona's and Kerrianne's bedrooms. There was a tiny office beside Kerrianne's room that Fiona kept her laptop and all the important files she owned; Kerrianne's birth certificate and such.

The home was so nice. Fiona and Saoirse had purchased the duplex with money from Jimmy O's life insurance.

It had seemed the best way to spend the money of a man that had caused them nothing but sorrow over the years.

Fiona and Saoirse had opened their own business within the last year. It was a tiny bakery located in between a bookstore and a pub. It was called _Sweet Cakes_.

It worked out wonderfully given that both women had a soft spot for baking and Fiona had always been good with bookkeeping.

Saoirse did most of the baking and cake decorating and Fiona did most of the office work and dealing with the clients. It had given both women a sense of peace after the pains they'd endured.

Neither woman had ever pictured that they would have something so simple in their lives. The bakery was going great and they'd had fun with it.

Fiona was still involved IRA of course, but it didn't take over her life like it had with Jimmy O'.

She felt comfortable realizing that she was able to provide a sense of normalcy for her daughter and herself.

Fiona smiled shaking her head at the comment about her butt. "Hush you. There's a lot of time fer ya to get re-familiar with that part of me later."

Chibs stifled a yawn as he spoke reluctant to actually admit this. "I may be too tired fer that tonight love. This jetlag is getting to me."

"Aye that's why yer goin to sit back and relax while Kerri and I make us some dinner. We got all the time in the world to make love." Fiona pointed out as she practically shoved Chibs onto the light blue sectional sofa.

He let out another yawn smiling up at his gorgeous Fi. "Ya girls are goin to spoil me."

Fiona bent down pressing a lingering kiss to his lips as she spoke. "Aye we are sweet boy..for the rest of yer life."

He grinned up at her feeling so blessed to finally be back home; where he belonged.

It seemed as though his life made sense for the first time in years.

He laid back against the soft sofa his eyes closing as he thought of how much his Kerrianne had grown. He could remember when she was just a wee baby. It seemed just like it was yesterday.

_Filip awoke to the sound of a baby crying over the white plastic baby monitor beside Fiona's and his small queen sized bed. He yawned blinking the sleep from his eyes as he became aware of his surroundings._

_Kerrianne had only been home for a few months now and she had cost her parents more than a few nights of rest._

_He stared over at his exhausted wife not surprised that she was still sleeping deeply despite their daughter's tears. _

_He pressed a kiss to Fiona's shoulder over the thin yellow strap of her nightgown. He spoke up knowing that she needed her rest. She'd worn herself down so much over these past few days. He'd been kept out almost all night for the past week or so by doing little jobs for the IRA. "I'll get her love. Ya sleep. We got milk ya pumped in the fridge if I need it."_

_He chuckled softly as Fiona mumbled something in her sleep that sounded like Okay love you._

_He pulled himself from their soft warm bed shoving the heavy brown quilt off his body. He walked out of the room and down the hall to Kerrianne's tiny nursery._

_He flipped on the lights as he entered the room blinking a bit as he adjusted his eyes to the light and the abundance of purple from the curtains to the butterfly shaped rug on the floor. _

_Fiona hadn't wanted to decorate the baby's room too traditionally in pinks. So lilac had been the color of choice._

_The nursery was cheerful but so tiny. Kerrianne's white crib sat underneath a mobile with tiny little swallow birds hanging from it. The mobile played Rock a Bye Baby in a soft pleasant tune._

_The sweet blue and green cloth mobile had been a gift from Fiona's mother. Though Fi's father was still locked in disapproval over his daughter's marriage to Filip, Lenore Larkin had been a bit more forgiving especially once her only daughter had become pregnant._

_There was a white wooden dresser stuffed on the other side of the room and a shelf hanging over it with a little carousal shaped music box, stuffed animals, and the baby monitor. _

_The wooden changing table had been shoved out into the hall because there was no room for it in the nursery._

_Filip's and Fiona's small modest apartment had been stuffed with baby things; a stroller, a high chair, a bouncy seat, a playpen, and so many toys blankets and books._

_It was clear their little Kerrianne would be spoiled beyond belief despite her parent's sad financial situation._

_They had wanted to name their girl after his mother but the name Carrie had kept popping up in their heads. So they decided to go with a combination of their favorite name as well as his mother's name: Kerrianne. Kerrianne Joan Telford._

_They'd picked the middle name Joan for the Joan of Arc. Fiona had wanted to name their girl after the historical French warrior she'd always looked up to since learning about her in school as a girl. She looked up to the solider as a hero of sorts. _

_Filip's mother and sister had really provided for his new family and the young couple was thankful for this. They wouldn't have been able to make it without the Telford family providing them with baby gear._

_Filip leaned over the crib smiling down at his sobbing daughter. She was lying on her colorful crib bedding; a white cheerful bedding with little zoo animals all over it; elephants, lions, zebras, and bears. _

_He picked her up carefully her face almost as pink as the pink and white striped fleece onsie she was wearing. Her dark hair was already just as curly as her mothers hair and her eyes were just as dark. She had Filip's nose though and his lips. Her skin was a soft golden tone a perfect mixture of her mother's darker skin and her father's pale skin. _

_He pressed a kiss to her forehead as he spoke his voice soft. "Hey love. What's wrong huh?"_

_Filip sat down on the wooden rocking chair they'd barely managed to stuff into the room as he began to rock the girl. She felt dry and he knew Fiona had just fed her a few hours ago._

_She was just fussy he told himself. He spoke to her his voice picking up the cutesy light tone he only reserved for his little girl. "That's enough of that sweet love. Da's got ya now. Ya can stop that fussin."_

_He stared down at her as she continued to whine mostly out of frustration now. Her tears had dried. Fiona was always pointing out to him that their daughter fussed because he knew her da would come running. The little girl had Filip wrapped around her tiny fingers._

_Filip was still so stunned that he had made someone so beautiful. Kerrianne was truly stunning. He couldn't wait to watch her grow into what would no doubt be a stunning young woman just like her mother._

_He began to sing to her an old traditional tune. It was called A Stor Mo Chori. It was a traditional ballad written Brian O'Higgens who was heavily involved in the IRA and the 1916 Rising. Fiona had taught Filip the song and he'd always loved it._

A Stor Mo Chroi, when you're far away  
From the home that you'll soon be leaving,  
Sure it's many a time by night and by day  
That your heart will be sorely grieving.  
For the stranger's land may be bright and fair,  
And rich in all treasures golden.  
You'll pine, I know, for the long, long ago  
And the heart that is never olden.

_A Stor Mo Chroi, in the stranger's land_  
_There's plenty of wealth and wailing._  
_Though gems adorn the rich and grand_  
_There are faces with hunger paling._  
_The road may be weary, and hard to tread_  
_And the lights of the city blind you._  
_Oh turn, A Stor, to old Erin's shore_  
_And the ones you have left behind you._

_A Stor Mo Chroi, when the evening's mist_  
_O'er mountain and meadow is falling,_  
_Oh turn, A Stor, from the throng and list_  
_And maybe you'll hear me calling._  
_For the sound of a voice that you seldom hear_  
_For somebody's speedy return._  
_Aroon, aroon, Won't you come back soon_  
_To the one who really loves you._

_By the time Filip had finished the old song Kerrianne was fast asleep finally quiet. He continued to hold her long after she was asleep unwilling to put her down just yet._

_He spoke his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm goin to be the best da I can baby girl. I didn't have tha best da but I promise ya I'll be better than him. I love ya so much."_

_Little did Filip know that only four years later Jimmy O'Phelan would take his baby girl and his Fiona from him leaving him a nasty Glasgow grin to remember him by._

* * *

Saoirse sat on her worn down black sofa a bottle of Guinness sitting beside her as she stared down at her cell phone. She'd changed out of the soft green dress she'd been wearing earlier and into one of her late boyfriend's old shirts.

As much as she loved her dear cousin Nate O'Donnell she had never enjoyed speaking on the phone with him especially when she was feeling down.

Seeing her godfather had been hard on her. Chibs looked so much like her Padriac. They had the same eyes that held a little mischievous glint to it, the same tall lanky frame, the same smile.

Seeing Chibs made her miss Padriac all the more. She had loved Padriac Telford more than anything in this world.

He had been her first love, her first kiss, the man she had lost her virginity to.

She knew no one would believe it but Padriac had been so sweet. He wasn't the bad boy biker that he looked like, yes he was tough and he would kick the shit out of someone when they deserved it. But he was compassionate and intelligent and so romantic.

Despite the wild life Padriac had chosen for himself he had remained faithful to Saoirse. His own father had cheated on his mother and Padriac never wanted to be like the man. When he loved Saoirse he loved her deeply.

Burying Padriac's ashes had destroyed her. He had died so suddenly and so violently.

One minute he'd been there and then he was gone. He had left that morning kissing her after they'd had their morning breakfast. He'd left for club business and had never come home again.

Padriac and Saoirse had been talking about getting married and starting a family before he'd died. He had proposed to her years before but they had wanted to wait until they had a bit more money to start their family and have a nice wedding.

They'd had a life planned out full of joy and promise and it had been ripped away in one violent second.

Padriac's mother Cait had been hysterical when it came time to bury her only child. She blamed Chibs and the life he had lead her son into.

Saoirse hadn't spoken to the woman since the funeral. She couldn't bear to look in Cait's eyes. She felt that Cait blamed her in a way; for tolerating her son's lifestyle, for supporting his place in SAMBEL.

Saoirse could remember how Cait had glared down at the black crow inked into her would be daughter in law's wrist when Saoirse had attempted to hug her.

Fiona had scolded Cait of course for shoving Saoirse away, but it had only resulted in Cait storming from the cemetery.

Cait hadn't spoken to any of them in years and Saoirse wasn't surprised. Padriac had been all his mother had in this world; her only child, her life.

Saoirse took a gulp from her beer so tempted to fall back into old habits. She was tempted to go out onto the streets to find those pills that had kept her knocked out free of her grief; codeine had been her drug of choice until Fiona had flushed the pills down the toilet and cleaned her up.

She'd had a prescription for the drug left over from when she'd broken her arms a year before Padriac had died. She had taken the drugs after Padriac's funeral and soon it had become an everyday thing. She had let the drugs take control of her life easing her pain.

Soon she'd been doctor shopping getting prescriptions for Codeine and from Codeine she'd gone to Dilaudid. She hadn't found out until later that Dilaudid was often called drugstore heroin. She could see why it was called that. The drug knocked you out leaving you numb to the world around you. You might start taking the pills but you would always go to snorting the powder and then you would go to the needle. You would always go to the needle.

Saoirse shook the desire for the drugs from her mind knowing that she had come too far to fall back into old habits.

Fiona had told her goddaughter that if she ever caught her shooting up or popping pills then she would personally kick her ass into next week.

She took a deep breath remembering what Fiona was always telling her _Padriac wouldn't want this fer ya love. He wouldn't want ya killin yer soul with these damn pills._

She dialed her cousin's number deciding that it was time to just get this done and over with. She spoke her voice firm as Nate answered his end. "I need a favor cousin."

"Aye what is it dearie?" Nate replied a little tipsy from his nightly trip to the bar.

Saoirse shook her head rolling her eyes at her drunk of a cousin. "I need ya to find a lad fer me. Fer Filip Telford. The lad's name is Juan Carlos Ortiz...he goes by Juice. We need ya to bring the lad here to Belfast, safe and sound. Not a hair on his head is ta be hurt. I mean it Nate. He's in danger in California and we gotta save him."

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she explained what had to be done.

This stress was worth it, she reminded herself.

This was for her family.

* * *

Juice Ortiz sat on the scratchy motel bed his mind spinning. He had fucked up he knew it.

What was he supposed to do though? He had fallen back on old habits helping the Queen of SAMCRO just like he'd been taught to be by SAMCRO.

Gemma had taken him to this motel telling him it would work until they could get him to Wendy's empty apartment.

He would only be in this motel for another night or so.

His mind kept on going back to Tara lying dead on her kitchen floor in a puddle of her blood and dirty dish water. He kept thinking of Roosevelt, that he'd had to kill the man.

It was just another dead body on his conscience.

When did his life come to this?

One minute it had been about brotherhood and loyalty and the next minute his life had been filled with death, betrayal, and regrets.

Jax wanted him dead. The club President saw Juice as a traitor, a rat that had to be exterminated.

Juice didn't want to die, but he was so tired. So damn tired.

He grabbed ahold of his gun as a heavy knock fell upon his door.

He ran for the closed door peering through the peep hole out into the dark night, his heart slamming in his chest. He let out an anxious breath as he spotted a huge man standing peering back at him.

The man was stocky with red hair and a spread of freckles across his face. He wore a heavy wool coat over a pair of dark jeans and dress shirt.

Was he here to kill him, Juice wondered. Was he some hitman hired by the club? Was he an agent here to arrest him for all the sins he'd commited?

Juice opened the gun just a crack holding up the gun to the man's head. "Who the fuck are you?"

The man raised an eyebrow seemingly unaffected by the gun to his head. He spoke his voice all too calm. "I'm here to help ya laddie."

Juice widened his eyes a bit thrown off by the accent; Irish? What did an Irish man want with him? Was this some IRA gun shit?

"I doubt that." Juice spat out digging the gun against the man's meaty forehead.

The man too Juice my shock chuckling a bit as he spoke. "I'm here as a friend laddie. I'm here ta save yer life. Yer a lucky man."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Juice blurted out his voice frantic and full of fear.

Was this bastard crazy? He was laughing with a gun to his head?

The man gave him a cool smile saying the one name that would change everything running through Juice's head. "Fiona Larkin."

"What's Chibs' old lady want with me?" Juice stated his stomach rolling.

"She and her husband want ta save yer life laddie. Like I said I'm tossin ya a lifeline. I'll pull out me phone and ya can talk to him yerself if that's what it takes."

Juice nodded his head his mind going a mile a second. This was almost too good to be true. Had he fallen asleep and was having some weird stress induced dream?

He dug the gun against the man's head as he spoke. "If you pull a gun out you'll be dead before you have a chance to shoot."

The man smirked at this threat. "Aye that's a good thing I'm jus pullin out a phone then."

Juice widened his eyes as the man dialed his cell phone before handing it over to him.

Juice felt his heart drop as he heard a familiar voice on the other end. "Hey Juicey."

* * *

_Reviews? Constructive Criticism?_

_A Stor Mo Chori translates to O Treasure of My Heart. And as I explained it's an old ballad. Look it up the history about it is pretty interesting._


	4. A Shot at Redemption

Chibs stood over his Kerrianne's bed a content smile on his face as he tucked her bedsheets and her quilt around her. He couldn't help but to be mesmerized by the teenager; lying in her white poodle flannel pajamas her hair braided off to the side her face bare of makeup.

He preferred his daughter like this; his sweet innocent little girl, and not the grown woman she had so clearly become.

Chibs hated that she had grown up without him; that she wasn't the child he'd left behind. He knew it was his own damn fault though. He had missed more of her life than he should have after Jimmy O' was no longer an obstacle.

He knew it was foolish to be upset though. She couldn't be expected to stay a little girl forever. She would have grown up with or without him here to see it.

He had almost feared that Kerrianne would deny him this, when he'd lamely offered to tuck her in to bed after they'd spent an evening laughing and playing board games together with Fiona.

They'd played Kerrianne's two absolute favorites; Scrabble and Life. Chibs had let the Kerrianne win each time just to see that delighted smile on her face as she gloated about her win.

The jetlag was hitting him hard, but he refused to allow himself to give in to it. He refused to let this day end just yet; his first day of what would hopefully be forever with his girls.

Chibs spoke up his mind easily venturing off down memory lane. "Ya remember when I took ya to that carnival that one time? I bought ya cotton candy and I won ya that blue stuffed lamb with that ping pong ball game...ya know the one where ya toss a wee ball into cups? Ya picked the lamb out yerself and ya wouldn't put it down fer weeks even fer baths."

Kerrianne gave her da a sad half smile as she realized that she didn't remember any of this at all. "How old was I?"

He let out a soft sigh trying his best to hide his disappointment as he realized that his girl was probably too young to remember that day. It was so long ago. It had been over a decade now. "Bout four...Ya'd had jus turned four years old. Ya ma was busy that day...with tha cause. So I took ya down to the carnival that was in town out near the docks...figured we'd have a daddy daughter day."

He paused letting out a weak laugh the memory so bittsweet. "Ya were so excited. Ya couldn't stay still...I had ta pick ya up to stop ya from runnin off and getting yerself lost. I braided yer hair that mornin into two wee braids. Ya made me put yellow ribbon in em so they'd match the shirt ya were wearin. Ya had yer picture taken with these two clowns and they made ya a yellow balloon animal shaped like a dog...I remember that I was friad the clowns would scare ya, but ya didn't cry at all. Ya jus smiled and ya even gave one of them a hug. Ya were always my brave girl."

Kerrianne bit the inside of her cheek trying hard not to sob knowing that she couldn't remember any of this at all. She wished that she remembered that day so badly. It was clearly such a fond memory for her da. "Do ya think ma still has the picture?"

Chibs let out a heavy sigh knowing the answer. Jimmy O' had probably thrown out the picture just like he'd thrown out most of Fiona's pictures.

Fiona had only managed to save two of her dozens of photo albums. She'd given them to Maureen Ashby for safe keeping when Jimmy O' had taken Kerrianne and her.

At least the wedding photos had been mostly salvaged. Fiona knew it would break her if she'd lost those precious pictures.

"Ya'd have ta ask yer ma M'aingeal." Chibs replied deciding that he couldn't bear to tell his girl the truth that the only representation of that memory was more than likely long gone.

He had taken several pictures that day; asking the carnies to take pictures of his daughter and he with the disposable camera he'd bought that morning. He'd wanted Kerrianne to have photos of their day together and now she would never see them.

It had been one of the last days he would spend with his daughter, before Jimmy O' came and stole both her and her mother.

Kerrianne gave her father a tired tight smile seeing through his statement. The picture was gone she realized. She spoke her voice weak as her sorrow peeked through. "I wish I could remember it da."

The sight of his little girl's heartache made Chibs feel as though someone had struck him through the heart with an ice pick.

He acted quick pressing a kiss to Kerrianne's forehead as he spoke. "I know sweetheart me too. Ya were so young though. It's okay that ya don't remember."

"But it meant so much to ya...I should remember something that was that important to you." she replied her tears seeping out.

Chibs pressed another kiss to her forehead as he did his best to be reassuring. "I know love. I don't want ya to worry bout it though...We have time ta make new memories. And we're goin to make lots of em I promise ya."

He moved back pressing a gentle hand to the girl's cheek as he spoke again. "I love ya Kerri. It's goin to be okay. I'm home now forever. Aint nothin keepin me from my girls ever again."

Kerrianne nodded her head feeling guilty that she didn't quite believe him. After all hadn't he promised that he would come visit and that had only happened once.

She pushed back her doubt as she spoke. "I love ya too daddy. Goodnight."

Chibs let out a soft breath the word _daddy _meaning the world to him.

His daughter hadn't called him daddy since that day four years earlier when Fiona and she had been scared that Jimmy O' would come try to retrieve them again.

He could remember how Kerrianne had come running towards him that day. She'd buried her head against his chest and spoken _Daddy I'm scared._

Those words had haunted him so. No parent liked knowing that their child was frightened. It was a parents job to make their kids feel safe.

"Goodnight my wee love. Ya sleep well." Chibs replied his heart still aching. He hated the doubt in her eyes at his promises to stay here with her.

He knew he'd failed his baby girl; he'd stayed away for far too long. He knew he was so lucky that she didn't hate him for his absence.

She should hate him, Chibs knew that. Kerrianne and her mother should both think he was rotten and horrible for avoiding home; for letting the MC keep him away from them.

He pushed his shame back as he reluctantly left his Kerrianne's bedroom shutting off the lights and shutting the door behind him.

He leaned back against the closed door his eyes staring blankly at the white wall across from him. He felt like a horrible dad.

That was the last thing he ever wanted to be; a rotten father who chose anything over his child.

Chibs' own dad had been a rotten dirty liar, who'd beat his wife and cared more about the drink than his own children. Chibs had always sworn to himself that he'd never be like Jack Telford.

He knew that he had failed in a way. No he hadn't beat his wife, Chibs had never laid a hand on Fiona nor any woman for that matter.

He had chosen SAMCRO over his family though. He had done it time and time again. It was a sin he could never erase.

Chibs understood that it was a mistake he would have to work hard to make up for. He would have to work to prove to his girls that he wasn't going anywhere; that they were number one in his life from now on.

He just prayed that the day would come where Kerrianne could trust him fully. He needed his baby's trust more than the air in his lungs.

He would die for the girl. He would lie down his life for both Fiona and their girl.

Chibs had killed for them and he would do it again without question.

He would have to make his girls understand that he was serious about staying here in Belfast for the rest of his life.

It wouldn't be easy but Chibs was willing to work for it. His wife and child were worth any pain to him.

Chibs made his way down the hall to Fiona's bedroom; to their bedroom.

He looked up from the ground a soft moan escaping his lips as he took in the sight of his life.

Fiona was sitting up in the small queen sized bed the blankets pulled back for him, a soft smile on her face. She'd changed out of her clothing and removed her makeup and jewelry. She was now dressed in a tiny black nightgown a soft mischievous smile on her face.

The chemise was made of a soft silky material. She'd picked it out especially for tonight; for her husband's first night home.

Fiona knew it was silly but she had gone out shopping for new night-things the second Chibs had called her and announced that he was finally coming home to her.

She had wanted to look gorgeous for her husband; she had wanted to look more than gorgeous. She'd wanted to look sultry and sexy for her Filip.

These past few years she'd just slept in sweatpants and t shirts. She knew that there was nothing sexy about her usual choice in pajamas.

Back when Chibs and she were still newlyweds she'd always worn nightgowns for him; nightgowns with little barely there lacy panties. She knew how fond her sweet boy had always been of the sight of her in feminine little nightgowns; the tinier the better.

Fiona had wanted to recreate those memories for him. She wanted to prove to herself that her husband still thought she was sexy despite the time they'd spent apart and the pain and heartache in between them.

She knew that her body had changed with age. Her body wasn't as slim and tight as it had once been. Her arse kept on getting bigger. She'd begun to joke that she might as well tape a stick of butter to her arse now. Her breasts weren't as perky as they'd been when she was younger. She had cellulite along the back of her thighs and stretch marks on her belly from having Kerrianne.

Her body wasn't the same as it had been the last time Chibs and she had made love. She would never admit it to anyone but she was frightened that Chibs would be disappointed by the sight of her nude body and the changes it had gone through.

Fiona pushed back these fears knowing that Chibs had always told her that he would love her forever.

Back when she'd been pregnant with Kerrianne and feeling insecure he would always tell her the same thing _Yer sexy as hell Fi. I could never not want you._

He wouldn't let the fact that her body was different spoil the way he saw her, she tried to convince herself.

She spoke up a playful smirk on her face as she heard Chibs' moan. The little noise gave her a boost of much needed confidence. "See somethin ya like sweet boy?"

"Aye. I think I do." Chibs replied so thankful that he'd already changed into his pajamas; a pair of black sweatpants and a gray ribbed undershirt.

He couldn't help but to be embarrassed by the weight he'd gained with age. His once firm stomach had become a gut and he hated it.

Chibs knew that he'd become trimmer over the past couple of years, but it still wasn't enough in his mind. He'd wanted to lose some weight and become healthier for his Kerrianne and it had worked out well for him, but he still had a gut that just wouldn't disappear.

He knew that his daughter worried about him. She was always getting on to him about his diet and his habit of smoking cigarettes.

_Da yer goin to get cancer if ya keep on smokin those things. Dad I've been jogging you should come out walkin with me when ya visit. Da please tell me ya've been eating a good square meal. No a meal doesn't include potato crisps and whiskey da._

Chibs was ashamed by his body. When he'd been a young man he had been so fit. He had always felt so handsome when he was a young man; back before Jimmy O' had scarred his cheeks.

Yes he'd had a scar along his belly back then, but it wasn't a gift from Jimmy O', That scar was a result from him being foolish and young; fighting with another lad on the streets over something idiotic.

He hadn't had the scars on his cheeks back then though. He could hide the scar on his stomach but not the ones on his cheeks. He didn't have a rounded belly or even a hint of flab back then.

Chibs pushed away his anxieties as he sat beside Fiona on their bed. He reached for her his lips hot against hers. It seemed that his body was buzzing with lust for the woman.

He'd had millions of filthy dreams about his wife in their time apart. He'd lusted after her for over a decade now; wanting the pleasure that she'd always brought him.

Chibs was almost in disbelief that he was finally free to make love to his Fiona; to make her writhe and moan beneath him, to lose himself in her body.

He groaned as his arm wrapped around her his free hand tracing her bare legs sneaking up to her hip underneath the chemise to press against the lace of her white bodyshorts.

He pulled lips back Fiona and he both breathless from the intensity of the kiss. Fiona spoke her insecurities seeping out even though her body was aching for him to fill her. "Tell me ya love me Filip."

Chibs wasted no time to speak his voice husky and full of lust. "I love ya Fi. I love ya so fuckin much."

Fiona reached up pressing a hand against his cheek as she spoke her voice playful as she joked. "A declaration of love with tha work fuck in it. So sweet Filip."

He laughed her comment lightening his worries for a brief moment. "Well ya know me. I never was a traditional lad Fi."

"Aye ya weren't. And neither was I." Fiona replied laughing as well.

Chibs pressed his forehead to hers their eyes closing. He wanted nothing more than to peel the chemise over her head, to worship her soft nude body, to make her moan his name, to please her.

He wanted to reacquaint himself with her body more than anything on this planet. He wanted to bury himself inside of her and love her till they couldn't even lift a finger.

His jetlag was quickly overpowering him though.

As much as he hated to admit it his exhaustion superseded his lust at the moment. He spoke ashamed to admit it. "I don't think I'm in my top form righ now Fi. That jetlag is kickin my arse."

Fiona gave him a soft smile pulling back away from him and opening her eyes. She pressed a gentle peck to his cheek over one of those scars he hated so. "I know a ghra. We have time fer loving each other later. As soon as yer up to it you're all mine sweet boy."

He let out a sigh of relief thankful that she wasn't insulted by his refusal to make love. He'd worried that she'd take his jetlag as disinterest.

Chibs knew that Fiona worried that he held a grudge against her for the years she'd spent by Jimmy O' Phelan's side.

He wasn't a fool. He knew that Jimmy had been with his Fiona in that way. He knew that Jimmy had taken her despite the fact that she hadn't loved him.

Chibs understood that Fiona couldn't just deny Jimmy O' what he'd wanted. The man had held her love for her child and her love for her Filip over her head any time she thought to fight him on sex.

Jimmy had twisted that love into a tool to use against Fiona. _If ya don't give me what __a__ wife is supposed to give her husband I'll make yer Filip suffer more than he already has. If ya don't love me I'll make ya regret it one way or another Fiona. _

As strong and tough as Fiona was her love for her family and her fear for their safety was stronger. That love and need to persevere and survive had overpowered the need to fight Jimmy O'Phelan.

Fiona had given Jimmy her body but he'd never got her heart.

Her heart had stayed with her true husband, her one true love; her Filip.

Chibs knew he hadn't been a saint in their time apart either. He had let himself get lost in the croweaters that only gave him attention because of the kutte on his back.

He let himself get lost in those women even though the only woman he'd really wanted was his Fiona.

He'd be lying if he tried to say that he hadn't caught himself more than a few times calling one of the club whores Fi during a moment of orgasm.

It was something he was so ashamed of. Something he thought Fiona should hate him for. He knew she would hate him if she ever knew about him calling those other women by her name.

He had just been so damn alone. His heart had ached for Fiona. He had been so weak and he knew it.

Chibs had been convinced that he would never be with his wife ever again, so he'd just let himself get lost in hedonism.

Although Chibs might of let the croweaters screw him, he had never allowed himself to feel anything for them or any other woman.

Fiona was the only woman who had ever possessed his heart. He belonged to her fully; body and soul.

Chibs wasn't shocked as Fiona spoke up. "What made ya leave Charming love? I know it wasn't jus missin me and Kerri that finally brought ya back home."

He sighed his stomach knotting up as he revealed everything he'd been holding in these past few years. "I felt lost mo stor. I jus felt so damn alone in California. The club I loved was bein twisted into something I didn't recognize. I tried to hold on. I tried ta let the love I had fer my brothers keep me goin. I was loyal fer so long Fiona...but it was changin...everthin was changin. Jax has turned into someone I don't even know. To be honest he'd turned into someone I don't like. The gavel corrupts love."

Chibs paused clearing his throat the loyal brother in him so guilty to say these words out loud. He knew that he had to trust his Fi to understand thoguh. He had to let her in. "It's like the brotherhood I respected is bein twisted into something horrible. All that loyalty and trus has been turned inside out...Jax started makin descions away from tha table. He got lost in his vision and shut us all out. I tried ta reason with him...Bobby and I both tried ta make him understand that it's not jus his club. It's like he couldn't jus listen to us though...it went in one ear an out tha other. I love the club Fiona. I had respect fer it. I saw it as somthin honerable. There's rules to it all, and those rules were bein tossed out tha window. The men I trusted and would die fer were turning into people I couldn't trust or understand...Tara was tha final straw."

"Teller's wife?" Fiona asked her own stomach knotting up.

She could remember Tara Knowles. Fiona had held some respect for the good doctor.

After all anyone stuck with Gemma Teller Morrow as a mother in law that wasn't tempted to strangle the bitch was a strong woman in Fiona Larkin's eyes.

It wasn't just Tara's strength that had won Fiona over though.

Tara had taken care of Chibs. She had kept him safe and made sure he was cared for after that van had blown up and cracked his head clean open.

Fiona had admired the woman for taking such good care of Chibs. She hadn't let that approval and admiration out in the open of course, but it had still been there.

"Aye. She's dead Fi...She was murdered. Stabbed in tha damn head with a carvin fork. We don't know who did it...Jax is a mess. He's on a war path. He can't see nothin but hate. I don't blame him...I jus...Losin the doc got me thinkin bout things. The day we buried her all I could think bout was ya Fi." Chibs blurted out his heart aching to spill this all out on the table.

Fiona took her husband's hand holding it safe in hers as she spoke up. "What made ya think of me lovey?"

Chibs gave her hand a squeeze his eyes locking on hers as he explained. "I kept on picturin ya in that casket Fi...what losin ya would do to me. I know that if I lost ya everyone would jus have ta throw me in tha grave with ya and fill it up...I would die if I lost ya the way Jax lost Tara. It made me realize that I've missed so much time with ya and Kerri. I understood what was important. And it aint the MC. It's my family. I knew it was time ta go."

"What did tha lads say bout ya leavin?" She asked her free hand reaching up to touch his cheek. She was overpowered by his words; about how he'd die if he lost her.

He leaned against her hand his eyes shifted to Fiona's dresser as shame flooded his body. "I was a coward Fi...I left without tellin em in person. I made a video on me webcam and put it on a disc fer em. I just poured my heart out on that video...said all that things I couldn't say in person. I know I'm a spineless fuck love. I ran away like a dirty coward. I was jus so convinced that Jax wouldn't let me walk away...He's not tha man he was back when he came to Belfast. He is lost in hate...all he sees is red. I knew if I stayed I'd get lost in that sea of red and hate. If I stayed I'd never make it home to my girls ever again."

Fiona nodded her head knowing that in most sitations she would agree that leaving the way Chibs had left was cowardly.

She could see why he'd done it though, why he'd been ashamed and frightened. "Ya aint a coward love. Yer a sweet man...my sweet boy. I told ya ta never change and ya didn't. Ya went with yer heart Filip and I couldn't be prouder of ya my love."

Chibs let out a gasp her words soothing every worry within him. He pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss as she spoke again. "Why is Juice in danger Filip? Ya said he was on deaths stoop."

"Jax doesn't trust tha lad. Juice betrayed us in a moment of weakness and...and Jax wants him to pay. I won't lie things have been different between he and I. I know I have ta move past tha hurt though...I have ta be a true brother ta him. He needs me and I have ta take care of him." Chibs explained knowing that he meant every word he said.

He had to make things right with Juice. And this was the only way he could think to do that.

Fiona gave him a smile her heart filling with total pride and adoration. "My sweet kind boy. I'm so glad ya haven't changed."

He smiled at her knowing that he was right to trust her to understand why he'd done what he had done. Of course his precious Fi would understand him. She always had. "I have ta be honest with ya Fi...I don't know what I'm goin to do fer a livin here. I can't go ta SAMBEL. They'll tell SAMCRO bout me...bout where I am and about Juicey. I'm goin to have ta start over and I'm scared ta death."

"Yer goin to figure it out love. Ya always were a strong man. Ya can still work as a mechanic. We can figure out tha rest later Filip. No matter what I'll be there fer ya...both Kerrianne and I are goin to take care of ya. That's what family does." Fiona assured him her hand rubbing his cheek softly trying her best to soothe his worries.

He'd always worried too damn much. He joked it was the Catholic in him. _I'm a Catholic love. Everythin is a worry fer me._

He nodded his head believing her. Fiona was right and he knew it.

He could figure this out. And maybe if he played his cards right he could figure it out for Juice as well.

Maybe he could find them both some happiness here in Belfast.

* * *

_Saoirse laid beside Padriac in his room up in SAMBEL's clubhouse. She closed her eyes trying hard to block out the noise of the party raging on outside._

_She let out a huff as she opened her eyes back up listening to someone let out a whoop outside; probably drunk off their ass and feeling playful. _

_Friday nights were always crazy. Usually Padriac and Saoirse were right there in the middle of it all having the time of their lives._

_Not tonight though. It was their anniversary tomorrow and Saoirse's Padriac had promised her a day of pampering and romance._

_Padriac spoke up his voice drowsy. "Are ya asleep Soso?"_

_Saoirse smiled at the nickname he'd given her back when they were just children. She spoke up teasing him a bit. "No I'm sleeping with my eyes open. It's a talent of mine...I'm thinkin bout joinin the circus circuit with it."_

"_Yer such a fuckin smartarse." He chuckled rolling over on his side and caressing the side of her pale face his hand taking in the softness of her skin._

_She spoke a grin on her face as she pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. "I learned it all from ya Pad. Yer the master of having a smart mouth."_

_He smiled back his eyes boring into hers lost in them for a split second. He loved her so much. She had been there for him in his darkest moments. _

_Saoirse had always supported him even when his ma had told him that if he didn't come back home to Scotland and leave the club that he was no longer her son. _

_When Saoirse had found him packing his bags tears in his eyes as he prepared to leave his prospecting run with SAMBEL she had gotten through to him._

_Follow yer heart Pad. Ya always wanted to wear a kutte ever since yer uncle joined SAMBEL. Don't let yer ma or anyone tell ya to give up somethin that makes ya so happy._

_It had been just the words he had needed to hear. _

_So he had called his ma and told her that he was staying here in Belfast with his club and his old lady. _

_Padriac spoke his voice filled with love for his old lady. "I love ya so much Soso. I can't believe ya choose an annoyin fuck like me."_

"_Like I could want anyone else. I've loved ya since were jus kids Pad. Besides I'm sure my godfather would kill me if I ever broke his nephew's heart." Saoirse replied her lips pressing to his._

"_Aye Chibs can be a scary lad when he wants ta be. It's those eyes of his lass. He can look at ya and make ya piss yerself." Padriac remarked chuckling at the thought of his beloved Uncle. _

_He adored his Uncle Filip but even he would never dare to get on the man's bad side._

_Saoirse let out a soft moan as Padriac moved his lips down to her neck nibbling and sucking at her skin leaving his mark behind._

_She ran her hands through his shaggy dark locks as his hands roamed her body so familiar with it's curves._

_She smiled at the tattoo at the center of his chest as he moved over her. It was her name in black thick bold lettering inked into his skin. _

_His brothers had given him such a hard time when he'd gotten the tattoo years before. _

_Old ladies come and go lad. It's a mistake._

_Padriac had just told them the truth though. My old lady aint goin anywhere boys. I've loved her since I was a snot nosed brat._

_She closed her eyes a moan escaping her throat as he took a hold of her thighs spreading them wide open for him his cock entering her with one swift movement. _

_He was such a big boy. His cock was long just like his long tall frame. He knew just how to use his dick. He'd learned everything he knew with Saoirse's body and they had sex down to a science by now._

"_Open yer eyes Soso let me see those eyes while I fuck ya." He groaned his voice thick with lust._

_Saoirse opened her eyes a scream of horror escaping her throat when she didn't see her Pad. Or at least her Padriac as she knew him._

_Her Padriac's eyes were dull and glazed over from death. His skin was too pale, his lips were blue and chapped. His arm was blown off from the explosion._

_He spoke his voice raspy. "See what those fucks did ta me Saoirse. Why didn't ya stop me from leavin that mornin. I'm dead and cold. So cold. I'm rottin cause of ya."_

Saoirse opened her eyes the scream still pouring from her throat. She sobbed her body shaking with fear and grief as she became aware of her surroundings.

The nightmares were a common occurrence for her.

They always started out so wonderfully. Her Padriac and she making love or having breakfast or just taking a walk.

They always started out as flashbacks of their life together. Then in one quick second her Pad would change. He would no longer be the loving sweet smartarse she'd fallen in love with.

He would change into a corpse angry with her for his death. He'd always tell her how he was dead and rotting, worm food.

She knew it wasn't true. He'd been cremated.

Still it scared her.

She had spent years blaming herself for letting him leave the morning he'd died. These dreams just brought back that guilt all over again.

She let out a shakey breath tempted to call her godmother to come over from nextdoor and make it better.

Saoirse had spent many nights being held by her Auntie Fiona, sobbing into the woman's shoulder while she rocked her.

Saoirse was always so ashamed to do this. She felt like a weak child instead of a grown woman of twenty six.

She resisted the urge to reach for her cell phone knowing that Fiona was probably busy getting refamiliar with Chibs.

Saoirse sighed at the thought a little envious. Her godparents still had each other and she was all alone without her soulmate.

She got out of bed rolling her eyes as she realized that she would spend another night wide awake and all alone.

She wished that she wasn't so alone. Saoirse was so tired of being alone.

* * *

Juice let out an anxious breath the phone held up to his ear. He couldn't believe it; Chibs he was talking to Chibs.

Chibs let out his own sigh. He'd not been shocked when Saoirse's cousin had called him telling him that Juice was insisting on speaking with him for proof that this was all real.

He'd been awoken early after only being back home for two days.

He was still locked in jetlag but it was slowly getting better. He was feeling more awake each morning it seemed.

Chibs spoke up knowing that he was waking Fiona from her own rest. "Hey Juicey."

"What the hell is this Chibs?" Juice spat out his guard still up high. Was this some sort of trick?

Was Chibs trying to lure him somewhere so the club could take their revenge?

Chibs sighed knowing that there was only one way to explain this all. "I'm in Belfast laddie. I want ya to come with me...it's a fresh start Juice. I want ya here lad."

Juice frowned dumbfounded by this statement. Chibs was in Ireland?

"Why do you need me there? Doesn't the club want me dead?" he blurted out bile rising in the back of his throat at this comment.

"Aye they do want yer head Juice. I wouldn't lie to ya bout that. I aint with the club though...not anymore lad." Chibs explained his stomach knotting up tighter and tighter by the second.

Juice widened his eyes even more upon hearing this. Chibs wasn't in the club anymore? "Why are you doing this? Why did you leave SAMCRO?"

Chibs closed his eyes a headache sneaking up in the base of his skull. "Tara is dead Juice...I-I jus...her death got me thinkin. My heart aint in tha same place anymore...my heart isn't with SAMCRO...not with tha way things have been goin. My heart is here with my family. I'm tryin to help ya Juice. Yer the only thing from that life that I care bout anymore. I want ya to find some safety...somewhere to start again."

"Can I do that though? Can I start again or is it too late for me?" Juice replied everything in him screaming at him that he was a lost cause.

He was so tired. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to keep on living this way.

"I believe ya can Juicey. I don't think it's too late fer ya. I love ya brother...I always have loved ya like a son. Ya know that righ? I just want to help ya the way I shoulda been helpin ya fer years now. Please let me do this for ya lad." Chibs pleaded with him.

He knew he'd made a lot of mistakes within the way he'd handled Juice's pain over the years.

He had just been so confused and hurt by the way Juice had been behaving. Chibs was hurt that Juice didn't trust him engouh to come to him for help in the first place.

Chibs knew he could help him now though. He could fix those mistakes if Juice would allow it. "Trust me Juice. Please let me help ya. Do you trust me?"

Juice closed his eyes for a second his initial reaction to push Chibs away; to just accept that there was no hope left for him to survive anymore.

He knew the truth though. He needed to trust Chibs.

Juice had to accept that this was his chance; his chance at redemption. "I trust you Chibs."

"Then will ya come to Belfast? Will ya let Nate take ya here? He'll keep ya safe Juice. I trust the lad. He's a family friend. I have everything set up fer ya here in Belfast. Just trust me to help you." Chibs stated thankful that Juice was trusting despite the bad blood between them.

Juice let out a heavy breath knowing that he didn't have many options. "Okay. I'll come with him. I hope you know what you're doing brother."

"Aye I do lad. I'll see ya when ya get here." Chibs replied thanking the good lord that Juice was letting him save him. He was giving this a chance.

Chibs closed his eyes as he hung up his phone. He prayed that his words were true to Juice.

He hoped that he knew what he was doing and that it was the right thing.

* * *

_Reviews? Constructive Criticsm?_

_M'aingeal = (Scottish Gaelic) My Angel_

_A Ghra= (Irish Gaelic) my Love_

_A Stor= (Irish Gaelic) My Treasure_

_Saoirse= Freedom Sear+sha_


	5. This is Home

Chibs hung up the phone placing it back in the receiver on the bedside table. He took a deep breath his stomach in dozens of tiny furled knots over this entire situation. He prayed that he was doing the right thing here.

He knew that bringing Juice to Belfast was a risky move. If anyone from SAMCRO found out that Chibs was helping _the rat_ he and Juice both would be as good as dead.

Chibs knew he had to work hard to keep Juice out of the club's field of vision even here in a new country. He would have to keep Juice far away from SAMBEL as well; if anyone in the Belfast charter saw Juice they'd be sure to pass the information on to Charming.

He took another deep breath knowing that Juice and he were going to have to make a lot changes to their lifestyle. They really would have to start their lives over again here in Belfast.

Chibs knew that it would be easier for him to adjust than Juice. At least Chibs had Fiona and Kerrianne not to mention his goddaughter Saoirse. Chibs had connections here in Belfast to help him feel at home.

The same couldn't be said for Juice. The man had no family nor trusted allies; no real foundation here. Chibs knew he and his family were all Juice had in this new life.

Chibs knew that the first thing he had to do was find himself a job here in Belfast; preferably at a garage nearby. He would have to help Juice find a job as well.

He knew he would have to help the younger man adjust to Ireland as much as he possibly could; that meant finding a job and a place to live once Saoirse got sick of Juice. It wasn't going to be easy.

He just hoped that Juice was up for the challenge. He knew that Juice had been struggling over these past few years. The man was a mess and Chibs wasn't sure if Juice was strong enough to continue pushing through.

Chibs was pulled from his worries as he felt a soft hand on his cheek. "Is everythin all settled love?"

He turned his head his eyes connecting with Fiona's drowsy gaze. He gave her a tight smile as he spoke up. "Aye. Nate's goin to bring him here...I'm goin to go out with Saoirse to welcome Juice Wednesday. I think seein me will soothe tha lad. He's suspicious."

Fiona nodded her head in agreement not shocked that her husband would want to be there for his dear friend. "Aye that's a good idea. Kerri and I will go shoppin that morning and ready a good meal fer Juice and ya. Should I expect Nate? Cause I might have ta pay a visit to the liquor store and stock up on Whiskey and Guinness if that's tha case."

Chibs grinned his stomach rumbling pleasantly at the thought of his wife's cooking. That was one of the many things about being _home _that he'd missed the most.

He'd been eating like a pig these past few days soaking up all the good foods he'd missed for so long now. It was the first time in at least a decade that he'd eaten three full meals everyday.

"I'll ask Saoirse? I doubt it though...ya know tha lad spends most his nights at the pub. I bet Juice wouldn't mind some beer though." He replied unable to wipe the smile off his face that the thought of a good meal had brought on.

He paused for a moment clearing his throat the smile dropping from his face as he spoke again. "I jus want him ta feel welcome here with us...he aint tha same lad he was a few years back...shite has piled up on him."

Fiona gave him a sad smile not shocked to hear this. She knew from speaking on the phone with Chibs just how worried he'd been about Juice.

She wasn't surprised to hear the worry. Her husband had always had a gigantic heart. He cared so deeply.

She couldn't help but to feel a bit anxious about this all. She knew that Chibs was putting himself in danger; sticking his neck out for Juice.

Fiona knew enough to know that if this all backfired somehow Chibs would meet the MC's wrath along beside Juice.

Fiona knew not to be too shocked that Chibs was taking such a big risk. He'd always been her brave lad.

He had always been so courageous in everything he did; the cause, the club, his personal choices. Fiona had fallen so quickly for that side of him; her brave sweet boy. She would never want him any other way.

She pressed her lips to his in series of soft kisses as she spoke. "Yer a good man mo chori. Ya always have been my sweet boy. Yer a good friend. Ya don't have ta take this on all on yer own though love, I promise. Ya know I'll be there ta help Juice adjust...Saoirse too and Kerrianne as well. He has us...ya both do. We're a family Filip and family looks out fer each other."

He returned her kisses her promises soothing his fears a little bit. He knew that he couldn't do this without his wife's support.

His Fiona had always been the strong one in their relationship after all. She was always the one who knew what to say and do to make him feel capable and secure in whatever life threw at him.

When Chibs was in doubt just a few words from Fiona were always enough to reassure him and give him the motivation to keep on going.

He had missed her guidance and support these past few years. He had a feeling that if Fiona had been in Charming with him these past few years his life and choices might have been a bit different.

Fiona pulled back from the kiss her eyes boring into his. She let out a soft gasp her body flooding with desire. She ached for him despite her exhaustion.

She had missed her dear sweet Filip so much. She had missed this side to their relationship. Talking on the phone with one another and doing little video chats wasn't the same as being able to touch him; to feel him.

No man had ever managed to please her as much as her husband.

Chibs had been her first. She had learned all she knew about pleasure from his body.

Fiona had been only the second woman he'd ever been with. He'd lost his virginity to a school mate the year before he had met Fiona, and it had been a drunken mess.

To Chibs it felt as though Fiona had been his first though. She was his first taste of lust; of love and passion.

Fiona knew of course that in their time apart her husband had lost himself in the groupies who hung around SAMCRO. She knew however that after they were reunited with one another when SAMCRO had come to Belfast, that her husband had remained faithful to her just as she had remained faithful to him.

She knew that the past didn't matter now though.

All that mattered was right here right now. And right now she wanted her husband to make love to her.

She took initiative pulling the soft yellow flannel nightgown she was wearing over her head and tossing it across the room.

Fiona stared up at her husband almost completely bare to him. The only thing that remained on her body was a tiny pair of white cotton panties.

She felt her cheeks flush feeling almost like a virgin underneath his gaze.

Fiona knew that her body had changed since he'd seen it last. There were stretch marks on her belly and along her thighs. Her bottom was rounder than she'd like and her breasts weren't as perky.

She had worked hard to keep fit and trim; walking with Saoirse and even trying a bit of yoga with Kerrianne.

Fiona was afraid though that despite her best efforts to keep herself fit, that her husband wouldn't look at her the same way he'd done back when they were younger.

Any insecurities she still had about how her body had changed and aged over these past years disappeared as Chibs let out a soft groan his eyes locking down on her breasts.

Chibs had always been a _breast man_ and he could honestly swear that no one's breasts compared to his Fiona's.

Her breasts were perfect; soft and full with light brown nipples. He loved how they fit in his hands, how she would arch against him as he worked her breasts.

She was so damn sensitive to his touch and it never failed to get him off.

When Fiona was a younger girl her darker skin made her feel unattractive. It wasn't easy for young Fiona Larkin being darker skinned in Northern Ireland.

Belfast wasn't exactly a mecca of diversity. And people involved with the IRA were often closed minded when it came to race relations.

Fiona's parents had worked hard to be accepted amongst their fellow IRA warriors, but they'd never felt fully accepted.

People were often cruel and small minded and Fiona had learned this lesson quickly.

When she was a preteen she could remember being in the shower and scrubbing her skin roughly wishing that it was lighter.

As she'd grown older she became more comfortable in her own skin. She had learned to stand up for herself and tell small minded assholes to go to hell.

Her relationship with Chibs had helped her quite a bit with her self confidence. He had been the first man who'd ever seen her nude. She could still remember his words when he stared down at that dark skin she'd always had issues with _Yer so beautiful Fi. __  
_

Fiona said nothing as she took the hem of Chibs' undershirt in her hands pulling it up over his head and tossing it across the room to join her nightgown.

She smiled at his nude torso everything about him making her center flood with desire and need.

She spoke her eyes locking on the tattoo over his heart: _Kerrianne. _"My sweet man."

Fiona had always adored that tattoo. She loved that he'd gotten it done in Celtic print; a symbol of their daughter's Irish side. The ink over his heart was a true sign of his love for their child. He'd gotten it inked into his skin a few months after their Kerrianne was born.

She pressed her lips to the tattoo her lips soft and full against his heated skin. He let out a groan as she ran her tongue and her teeth along his nipples so lightly teasing his skin.

She pressed her lips to the hallow of his neck moving up over his chin to his lips. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips as she spoke. "Love me Filip."

Chibs moaned the statement sending a jolt of lust straight to his groin. "Always Fi. Always my gorgeous lass."

He pressed his lips to her skin; soft hot kisses making them both dizzy. It had been so long since he'd touched her like this, since he'd felt her warm smooth skin against his lips.

It was like heaven to Chibs. He had imagined this very moment for so long now but his fantasies didn't even begin to compare to reality.

He ran his hands along her body wanting to memorize every inch of her. She was so beautiful; so tiny against his body. She was so soft and sexy and just plain perfect.

No woman in this world compared to his wife and he wanted to make that very clear to her.

Fiona gasped underneath his ministrations. His warm hands felt so perfect against her heated skin; the cold biker rings he wore sent pleasant chills through out her creating the perfect balance of hot and cold.

He made quick work of removing her panties a groan escaping his throat at the sight of her center. Fiona had never been one to wax everything downstairs and Chibs had always found this so sexy.

Chibs had always preferred a woman with a bit of hair at her center.

The dark curls at her center were far sexier to him than a Brazilian wax. It was nothing like the croweaters back in Charming who were mostly bare as can be.

Fiona shoved his pajama pants and his boxers down with one go, quick to rid him of the clothing. She smiled at the sight her center aching even more at the sight of his cock; thick and so ready for her.

She pressed her lips to his wrapping one of her legs around him, her body opening up for him.

Chibs moaned taking his cock in his hand hissing a bit as he rubbed just the tip of it along her moist slit. He spoke his voice thick with need. "So perfect Fi. So fuckin perfect."

He sunk inside of her burying himself to the hilt inside her warmth. He groaned his head pressing against her neck overwhelmed by how tight and wet she was.

Chibs rolled her over on her back moving over her his thrusts deep and slow. He wanted to take his time with her; to take his sweet time working her up.

Fiona gasped her body arching against his as he moved inside of her. She felt so full and just plain wonderful. Everything about being with him went beyond Fiona's dreams and fantasies.

Nothing compared to how amazing her Filip felt inside of her, how warm and safe she felt against him.

Her breasts were cushioned against his firm chest, her body delicate and so soft against his. Her hands roamed his back admiring the way his muscles rippled as he moved. She finally settled her hands at his firm backside encouraging him to keep moving against her.

It was as though they were the only two people in the world at that moment. They stared into one another's eyes lost in each others stare. They both struggled to keep their pleas and moans from being overheard as their orgasms approached.

Each thrust brought them closer and closer to the edge. Chibs knew he wouldn't last long. Being inside his wife for the first time in years was more than enough to shove him towards the edge.

He groaned his lips nipping at her neck surrounded by the scent of her strawberry shampoo and her floral perfume. The scent was so intoxicating and so uniquely her. "Love ya. Christ I love ya my sweet Fi."

She gasped his words sending a jolt of lust straight through her. She tightened her grip on his butt grinding her hips against his as she responded. "Love ya too mo stor."

Chibs grunted the little bit of Gaelic from his wife' lips sounding so beautiful and sensual. He had always felt that it was a gorgeous language all on its own, but Fiona made it all the more stunning.

He grinded back against her quickening his pace his brain becoming numb to everything but the glorious woman below him and how amazing she still made him feel after all these years.

His love for Fiona hadn't faded even a tiny bit in their time apart. He had to wonder if that old saying _absence makes the heart grow fonder _was true.

Chibs knew he was close he could feel his balls drawing up tight to his body, it wouldn't be much longer now.

He refused to cum before his wife though. She had to cum first. He wanted so badly to bring her over the edge at the same time as he let himself go.

Chibs reached down between them his fingers sliding along her clit; he stroked the slick little nub as he thrust a bit harder.

Fiona moaned the action sending a shockwave through her. "Oh Filip love that feels so good."

Her head fell back as he continued to toy with her doing his best to match his strokes with his thrusts. She rocked forward to meet him her lips parting. His name fell from her lips like a mantra. "Filip. Filip Filip, Filip."

Fiona tightened around him her body going stiff as her orgasm rolled through her. Chibs moaned managing to thrust into her one final time his body finally reaching it's end; so overwhelmed by how tight and snug she was around his throbbing member.

Her center clinched around his cock like a hot soaking glove. He came hard releasing deep inside of her spurt after spurt spilling into her as he buried his head against the nape of her neck.

Low sweet words left his lips most of them illegible to Fiona. "Love ya...sweet...so tight..perfect...fuck."

Chibs collapsed against her their bodies both so sated and damp. Fiona ran her hand up and down his sweat damped back feeling truly as though her husband was completely home now.

He reluctantly pulled out of her collapsing beside her his breathing still heavy and uneven. Fiona curled up beside him snuggling close to him her head resting against his chest.

Chibs ran his hand through her damp hair her curls coiling around his fingers as he spoke chuckling a bit. "That's a good welcome home lass."

Fiona laughed as well feeling giddy after what had just occurred between them. "I've always aimed to please lovey."

He smiled down at her overtaken by just how much he loved her. He placed his hand over hers his fingers running along her bare ring finger.

He silently promised himself that he'd take Kerrianne to help pick out a new set of rings for Fiona and him; new wedding bands and an engagement ring.

Chibs smiled even more at the thought of a gorgeous sapphire engagement ring for his Fiona; her birthstone.

He could picture it; a simple sapphire on a golden band. That would be perfect for his beloved Fi.

He closed his eyes his body feeling at ease for the first time all week long. He was home; he was finally home.

* * *

Kerrianne sat in Saoirse's bedroom at the vanity, the next afternoon. She frowned letting out a frustrated huff as Saoirse twisted her long thick locks into intricate braids, twisting them together into a large side braid.

Saoirse was always better at doing hair than Kerrianne. She had more patience for the task. For a long time Kerrianne had come to the older girl every morning to have her hair fixed before school.

Saoirse had always enjoyed it. After all she saw Kerrianne as a little sister of sorts. She had been nine years old when Kerrianne had been born.

She had been jealous of Kerrianne at first. Before Fiona had become pregnant she and Chibs had doted on their little goddaughter.

Saoirse had been Chibs' little buddy. He would pull her into his lap and sing old traditional lullabies and songs to her. He would teach her Scottish and Irish Gaelic. He taught her to roller skate. Fiona bought her dresses and barbies. Fiona took her to ballet classes. She baked cookies with her at Christmas time.

Fiona and Chibs had felt more like parents to Saoirse than her own father. Ian O'Donnell was so lost in the cause and his grief over his wife's sudden death that his daughter had been shoved to the back burner.

Chibs and Fiona had found themselves picking up Ian's slack with the girl. They hadn't minded it. They'd jokingly referred to it as parent training.

It had only taken a few months and a couple of tantrums for Saoirse to come to the uneasy conclusion that having Kerrianne around wasn't all that bad.

Chibs had been the one who'd finally helped Saoirse cope with it. _Yer almost like her sister now Sha. Ya gotta look out fer Kerrianne love. _

Kerrianne had come straight to Saoirse's duplex after school knowing that her ma and her da were out at the post office picking up one of the boxes he'd had shipped in from Charming; the one with his books and records.

Despite the fact that her father was picking up boxes of his belongings to bring home Kerrianne still felt anxious about rather her da was really staying or not.

She shook the fears from her mind as she spoke. "Is that Juice lad really comin here to stay with us?"

"Where'd ya hear that?" Saoirse asked a bit stunned by the question. Had Fiona told her about it?

Saoirse doubted it.

Kerrianne stared in the mirror giving Saoirse's reflection a sheepish smile. "I heard my ma and da talkin bout it last night after dinner. I was puttin the dishes in the dishwasher and they were still sittin at the dining room table. I think they thought I wasn't paying attention. So is it true?"

Saoirse let out a sigh deciding that it didn't matter if the girl knew. Kerrianne would find it out soon enough anyway. "Yeah. He's goin to be staying here with me in the spare bedroom...at least till he gets on his feet."

"I wonder if he still has that stupid hair cut? He'd be sorta cute without it." Kerrianne blurted out causing Saoirse to chuckle.

She shook her head still giggling. "You better not say that in front of yer da. He'll lock ya up in yer room till yer forty if hears that leave yer mouth."

Kerrianne grinned her fingers running along Saoirse's impressive makeup collection. "Juice isn't my type. I like em a bit less tattooed and blonder. Jax Teller was sorta cute, but he's married and he's Trinity's brother...I don't wanta be Trin's sister-in-law..it's too bad ya don't have a brother. I could marry him and then we'd be sisters fer real."

Saoirse twisted her lips struggling not to chuckle. Kerrianne was entering her boy crazy phase late apparently.

She didn't envy Fiona and Chibs when it came time for Kerrianne to date. It was going to be a mess.

Kerrianne frowned pretending to be entranced by the wide variety of earrings in Saoirse's jewelry box as she spoke up. "Do ya think my da is really goin to stay here with us...He says he will, but what if he's lying?"

"He wouldn't lie to ya Kerri. Yer da may be a lot of things, but a liar aint one of em." Saoirse replied adding another small hair band to Kerrianne's thick locks.

Kerrianne frowned her stomach rolling as she placed the yellow feather earring she'd been admiring back in the wooden jewelry box. "But he lied when he said he'd come visit me and ma every few months...didn't he? He never came. He stayed in Charming with the club...all he did was call."

Saoirse frowned upon hearing this statement. In her personal opinion her godfather had been a damn fool for staying away for so long.

She spoke trying to soften her _little sister's _pain. "Yer da is a loyal man...he's all too loyal. He sometimes doesn't put that loyalty towards the best things. If he didn't know that he'd done wrong staying away fer so long I doubt he woulda come home finally. That loyalty of his is both his best and worse quality Kerri. Most men are a bit foolish really...it takes a good woman to tell em how it is. I bet yer ma is goin to keep yer da in line and here with us."

"Was Padriac like that? I mean was he...foolishly loyal?" Kerrianne dared to ask almost fearing that she would offend the older girl.

They rarely talked about Padriac and it was always a bit upsetting to Kerrianne.

After all Saoirse hadn't just lost a fiancee Kerrianne had lost an older cousin.

Padriac was always quite good to Kerrianne. He'd been the girl's last link to her da here in Ireland for years now.

Padriac had promised Chibs that he would always look out for Kerrianne. Back when Chibs had finally been forced from Ireland for good he'd made his then fifteen year old nephew swear to him that he would look out for little Kerrianne.

Padriac had taken that promise seriously and he'd kept it.

Kerrianne had tagged along with Padriac and Saoirse to the movie, to eat lunch and dinner, and to little shops more than a few times.

She'd always enjoyed these little trips seeing them as a chance to get out of Jimmy O's compound and out from under his thumb.

Saoirse let out a heavy breath a soft sad smile crossing her lips. "Aye he was a lot like yer da...stubborn, hotheaded, funny, and loyal. He could be a bit of a fool too...but like I said most men are foolish."

Kerrianne returned the sad smile her voice softening. "I miss him."

"Me too love. I miss him so much." Saoirse responded backing away from Kerrianne's hair.

Kerrianne frowned spotting the sorrow etched into Saoirse's face. She stood up feeling guilty for upsetting her best friend. "Lets go get some coffee...I'll pay."

"Aye that sounds good." Saoirse replied doing her best to push her grief back.

Maybe this new houseguest would be a good distraction Saoirse decided.

Maybe it would be nice to not be stuck here alone in her house. She was sick of being alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Juice fidgeted as he sat in the backseat of the black van that had picked Nate and he up at the little single runway airport right outside of Belfast.

It had been a long flight full of layovers and waits. Juice was practically scratching at the walls by the time the plane had landed for a final time.

Nate had proven to be a boring travel mate. To be honest this Nate man gave Juice the creeps.

Nate reminded Juice a bit of Happy; intense.

He guessed that Nate was IRA connected; if he knew Fiona the chances of that being true were high.

Nate hadn't said much during the trip he'd just read the newspaper and kept asking the flight attendent for beers. He'd been a bit toasted by the time they'd landed and met up with two more equally scary looking lads; two more friends of Fiona's.

Nate had gotten Juice a visa and a passport to get him into the country. As long as he managed to get a job Nate said he would be welcome to stay in Ireland.

He felt his stomach twist and churn as he stared out the window taking in the sights of the Irish countryside; miles of green wet fields leading into the city.

Juice was dumbfounded knowing that this was his new home; a moss covered rainy rock.

Juice's brain was fuzzy with jetlag but he was far too anxious to actually sleep.

He couldn't believe that Chibs was actually doing this for him; helping him, giving him a chance to restart his life.

Juice knew he'd really screwed up things in the club. He'd almost expected Chibs to hate him forever for this.

After all things had been so tense between them lately.

Juice frowned knowing they'd be even more tense if Chibs ever found out the truth about Tara's death; about what Juice had done for Gemma, what he'd seen.

He took a deep breath doing what he could to shove back the anxiety attack he felt swirling around in his gut. Chibs could never know what he'd done. Juice would have to carry the secret of what he'd seen and done to his grave.

Juice felt his stomach roll and lurch as the van came to a sudden halt. He barely had time to blink as the sidedoor to the van opened revealing a sleepy looking Nate.

His large body enveloped most of the light around him as he peered down at Juice. "Welcome home laddie."

Juice climbed from the van his backpack feeling as though it weighed a ton as he walked up the muddy pathway behind Nate.

He widened his eyes almost in disbelief as Nate stepped aside revealing that this was all really happening.

Chibs gave Juice a tight hug pulling back a grin on his face as he spoke. "Welcome ta Ireland lad."

Juice opened his mouth snapping it shut quickly stunned that this was all real. He spoke up so speechless over this entire situation. He was dumbfounded to see Chibs smiling at him. It had been so long since Chibs had given him a smile like this. "Yeah."

He stared over at the small brunette woman standing beside Chibs. Chibs grinned at the woman clearly fond of her as he spoke. "Saoirse ya remember Juice? Juice ya remember my goddaughter don't ya? Yer goin to be stayin with her till ya get on yer feet. She lives righ next door ta me and Fi."

"Aye. I remember ya. Good ta see ya again." She remarked before Juice had the opportunity to say anything, nodding at the man.

Saoirse couldn't help but to notice that Juice looked like a different man from the guy she remembered a few years back. He looked tired; as though the life had been drained from him. His eyes didn't hold the light she'd remembered them holding.

He seemed sad, Saoirse realized.

Juice nodded his head not helping but to find Saoirse quite attractive. He could see the curves of her hips underneath her dress.

What struck him the most was her smile though; she had a nice smile. It had been a long time since anyone smiled at him that way.

Saorise was wearing a simple blue dress with a heavy looking gray cardigan. He stared down at her feet spotting gray boots. She clearly knew how to dress for the weather.

He was pulled from staring at Saoirse as Chibs gave him another hug speaking again clearly thrilled to see him here safe and sound. "Come on let's get ya home. Fiona's makin beef roast with lots of potatoes and carrots fer ya. Kerrianne's making a cake...it's chocolate my favorite. We're so glad yer here lad."

"Yeah me too...Good to be home." Juice admitted feeling a bit more at ease once he realized that Chibs hadn't brought him all this way just to kill him for the club.

Home; Juice realized. This was home.

* * *

_Reviews? Constructive Criticism?_

_Mo Chori= My Heart_

_Mo Stor= My Treasure_


	6. Red Hearts and Chaotic Minds

Fiona hummed quietly to herself as she buzzed about the kitchen.

Though she had planned to make pot roast she had decided that Irish stew sounded like a better idea given the cooling weather. So she had scrapped the pot roast plans and decided that Irish stew would be served for dinner with cake for dessert.

It had been a long time since Fiona had made the stew and she was a little astonished that she remembered how to prepare it all without even having to look it up in one of her recipe books.

Kerrianne and she had been living on quick meals over these past few years. It wasn't easy cooking for two; especially considering Fiona and Saoirse spent all day baking at work.

Fiona had always enjoyed cooking big meals. It was part of why she adored the holidays so much. She enjoyed nurturing those she loved and she couldn't think of a better way to care for her loved ones than by feeding them big delicious meals.

She could already picture what Christmas time would be like this year; a nice Christmas eve dinner with a big ham and all the sides. Then everyone would gather in the living area to decorate the tree. The next morning they'd all go to morning mass and then they'd come home to open presents.

She smiled to herself at this thought realizing that Chibs would be spending his first holiday at home, in what had to be at least a decade, in just a few short months.

It had been a long time coming; him being home for Christmas.

She grinned as she realized that this meant her husband would be home for new years eve as well. She was defiantly getting her new years kiss this year.

Fiona shook her head as she backed away from the oven opening it up to peek in on the chocolate cake Kerrianne had started before disappearing upstairs with her ipod.

The chocolate cake was a special family recipe. It had been in Chibs' family for generations. It was the very cake recipe that had been used to make Fiona and Chibs' wedding cake.

The chocolate wedding cake had been made especially by Chibs' mother Anne. It had been a three tier cake with white icing and little delicate red roses made out of icing.

Fiona had chosen the red to match the bridesmaids dresses she'd picked out. The entire wedding had been done in a red and white Valentines day theme.

It had taken place two days after Valentines day and Filip's family had decorated the chapel and the dance hall to match this theme. The chapel and the dance hall had been filled with little red paper hearts, brass candelabras with red and white candles, red flowers, heart shaped cookies, old valentines day cards on each of the tables, they'd even hung a little plastic cupid above Fiona's and Chibs' table at the reception.

Fiona sighed remembering her wedding day. It had been such a bittersweet day; both beautiful and a little sad.

_Fiona sat back in front of a vanity in one of the backrooms in the chapel. She had spent all morning doing her hair using the fresh flowers she'd picked out. Instead of a traditional veil she'd painstakingly pinned bright red and white flowers into her wild hair using bobby pins to hold them in place._

_She had kept her makeup plain wearing only foundation, powder, and the dark wine red lipstick that Filip had always loved on her._

_She'd picked out a pair of simple white pumps that seemed comfortable enough to walk in. She wasn't one to wear heels too often unless the heel was short enough that she could run in it. She favored practicability over style._

_Her dress had been handmade by Filip's mother; it was a tea length white dress with long lace sleeves. It had a very vintage feel to it and Fiona adored it. _

_Fiona's favorite part of the gown was the intricate bead-work around the collar. Anne Telford had used faux pearl beads that shimmered beautifully against the white fabric. _

_Fiona could easily imagine herself handing her wedding dress down to Filip's and her future children and granddaughters_

_She truly felt that her gown was something that would be cherished for generations to come. She found that idea so wonderful; someday generations from now her great great granddaughters would look at this gown and hear the story of their grandfather Filip and their grandmother Fiona. _

_Fiona prayed that maybe when that day came her grandchildren would think it was strange that people had once disapproved of their grandmother and grandfather's union simply because Fiona's skin wasn't the same color as Filip's. _

_She frowned at this thought truly hating people's ignorance at times. _

_Fiona took a deep breath not allowing herself to focus too much on people's idiotic prejudices. She refused to let anyone ruin today for her and Filip._

_They had been planning this day for so long now; saving up their money so they could have a half way decent ceremony. _

_Today would be perfect Fiona reminded herself. She was marrying the love of her life that in itself was perfect enough. _

_She allowed Filip's younger sister Cait to fasten the clasp of her simple golden cross necklace as Fiona screwed in the back to the faux pearl earrings she'd bought to match her dress. _

_Fiona smiled as Cait spoke up a grin on her face. "Ya look gorgeous Fiona. Filip is goin ta faint when he sees ya."_

"_I hope not. I need him ta operate the Harley. I don't wanta take a cab to the reception." Fiona replied chuckling as she reapplied her lipstick. _

_Cait rolled her eyes as she twisted her long straight dark hair into a twist applying pins to hold it in place. "I don't know how he talked my ma into lettin ya take a Harley instead of tha car she wanted to rent. Ma's not too happy bout the bike. She keeps on goin on and on bout how ya can't tie cans to the back of a motorcycle. I told her that at least she can put a Just Married sign on the back, but that's not seemin to stop her whinin."_

_Fiona gave the younger woman a smirk as she dropped her tube of lipstick down into her makeup bag. "Ya know yer brother. No one gets between him and that bike. I think he'd bring it into the apartment with us if I let em have his way."_

_Cait Telford giggled at this comment knowing that it wasn't too far fetched for her brother. Filip had always loved motorcycles. He'd been obsessed with them for as long as Cait could remember. _

_She could remember that her older brother used to go to shops around town and look at the motorcycle magazines. Soon enough he'd gotten brazen enough to start lifting the magazines. She could remember that when her brother shoplifted these things he would always snatch her up a chocolate bar as well._

_Cait adored her big brother more than anything on this planet. After their father had run off Filip had stepped up to the plate and looked out for his sister. _

_When he'd turned thirteen he'd started working little odd jobs around town, though sometimes these little jobs weren't exactly on the legal side of things. _

_Every cent Filip made went towards his mother and sister. He put food on the table, he helped keep the bills paid, and he made sure Cait had clothing on her back. _

_He had done it all while still attending school and maintaining decent grades. _

_Filip did everything for his sister; making her breakfast in the mornings, helping her with her homework, making sure she was protected from harm. _

_The streets they'd grown up on had been dangerous but no one had ever hurt a hair on Cait Telford's head not as long as her brother Filip was around._

_He'd gotten into many scuffles over his sister and it had built him up into a good fighter; tough and relentless. _

_In Cait's eyes her big brother was a hero. _

_At first Cait hadn't been too thrilled with Fiona's place in Filip's life. She had been jealous of the pretty Irish girl down the street. _

_Cait had wanted her big brother all to herself. He had always been there for her and she was afraid that Fiona was going to take him away forever._

_Fiona had found her way into Cait's heart though. She had taught the younger girl to stand up for herself. She had brought shy little Cait out of her shell a bit. _

_Cait had to admit that she was proud to know that Fiona would from here on out be a Telford. She wouldn't pick any other woman for her brother._

"_So when am I getting nieces and nephews? Ya've been together long enough ta give me a few." Cait teased knowing that she'd bothered Filip about this exact subject at least a dozen times over the years._

"_Not till we have the money. We don't have the space fer a baby righ now. Don't get me wrong nothin would make me happier than havin a baby...I just..I wish that money wasn't an issue. It's tha only thing stoppin us from tryin and it's jus so unfair." Fiona replied her smile faltering as she allowed herself to pour her heart out to her soon to be sister in law._

_She would love nothing more than to have a few dozen babies with her Filip, but she knew that they barely had the money to cover their rent and keep food on the table. A baby would just complicate things._

_It would happen eventually she told herself. One day Filip and she would have a house full of little Scottish Irish babies._

"_Ya could start tryin on the honeymoon ya know? If ya got pregnant Filip and ya wouldn't be all alone in it. I know my brother wants a baby with ya...he jus wants his kids ta have more than we had growin up." Cait suggested knowing that Filip's biggest fear was bringing up children in a neighborhood that was anything like the one they'd hailed from._

"_Aye I know. I think it's jus best if we wait though. Ta be honest I think we jus want to enjoy bein newlyweds fer a bit before we start a family." Fiona replied her smile not quite meeting her eyes._

_A baby would happen when it happened she reminded herself. There was no sense rushing into things. They were still young._

_Her smile only fell more as the door opened revealing one of her dearest family friends Ian O'Donnell. He wasn't alone behind him walked in Jimmy O'Phelan another family friend who had known Fiona since they were children._

_It was who was absent that made Fiona's heart ache though; her father._

_A tiny part of Fiona had held on to the hope that perhaps Daniel Larkin would put aside his disapproval for one day, just long enough to walk his only daughter down the aisle and have a father daughter dance with her at the reception._

_It seemed though that Fiona's hopes and prayers had gone unanswered. Her father was no where in sight._

_She knew that Ian had gone to speak with her da this morning. He had thought that it was his duty as Fiona's godfather. He had hoped that perhaps his long friendship with the Larkin family would give him some leverage in pleading with Daniel to be there for his daughter on this special day._

_Ian sighed spotting the frown on his goddaughter's face. He silently cursed Daniel Larkin for being such a damn fool, for shattering the young woman's heart. "I tried. Yer da is a stubborn old bastard."_

"_What bout my ma?" Fiona blurted out hoping that somehow her mother had finally grown a pair and pulled herself away from her overbearing husband and his hatred._

"_No love. She wanted ta come...but she's tryin ta be a good wife I guess...tryin to stand by her husband." Ian struggled to explain knowing that his excuses were bullshit._

_Both of Fiona's parents should be here for their daughter._

_Ian almost wished that Daniel and Lorna Larkin could see the heartache on their child's face. Surely a daughter's sorrow could mend hatred and anger and turn it to love and acceptance._

_Fiona glared down at the vanity as though it was the reason behind her family's absence. "I suppose my brothers are doin the same...standin by da?"_

"_Nah. It aint cause of yer da though Fi...it's tha cause. Micheal Conner's crew is causin a ruckus down at the docks interfering with the gun shipment we got goin with that motorcycle club. Yer brother Kyle has ta make an example out of em and it wouldn't look good if Danny Junior and Fredrick weren't there ta back him up. I'm bout to go down there myself and lend a fist or two. I thought of askin Filip, but I figured ya'd kill him if I drug him away." Jimmy O' finally spoke his eyes narrowing for just a moment at the mention of Filip Telford's name._

_He hated the Scot and he despised the fact that Fiona Larkin was throwing her life away for him. _

_Jimmy took a deep breath reminding himself that perhaps there was still a chance for Fiona to see that this was all a horrible idea. _

_Perhaps one day she would realize that the right man for her had been here all along; that he could give her a much better life. The two of them together could have all the power in Ireland; with her family ties and his dedication. _

_The damn streetrat from Glasgow could never give Fiona what Jimmy O'Phelan could. One day Jimmy would find the way to make Fiona realize this._

_Fiona let out a huff irritated that Jimmy would even think of dragging Filip away especially on a day like this. _

_As loyal to the cause as Fiona was, she couldn't help but to feel annoyed at the way Jimmy was always dragging Filip away to do little jobs. He kept Filip out all night and then repeated the process the next night. _

_By the end of the week Filip was so damn exhausted he could barely function. _

"_Aye ya'd be righ bout that." She spat out her eyes narrowing at the man who she'd one upon a time considered her best friend._

_In the past few years or so it seemed that Jimmy O'Phelan was changing into a person she neither liked nor trusted._

_She turned back to the vanity her eyes beginning to water as she realized that her father wouldn't be walking her down the aisle after all. _

_Ian let out a soft sigh placing a hand on Fiona's shoulder. "Ya know I'd be glad ta walk ya down the aisle love. I know it's not tha same, but I'd still be proud ta do it. I've known ya all yer life and I've always thought of ya as a daughter."_

_Fiona placed her hand over Ian's returning his smile despite her tears. "Thank ya...it'd mean a lot to me if ya did that."_

_Cait shooed Ian away trying to lighten up the situation. "Now now get outta here before ya make her cry more. Go check on Filip will ya?"_

_Fiona gave Ian a final smile unaware that the very man who would be responsible for Ian O'Donnell's death stood right in this room a glare on his face._

* * *

Juice shifted around in his spot around Fiona and Filip's dining room table. Despite the fact that the mood in the room was joyous Juice had to still feel on edge.

Despite the wonderful meal Fiona had prepared Juice felt nauseous. He picked at his food trying his best not to seem rude.

It seemed that Fiona and Kerrianne had put a bit of work into dinner and Juice didn't want to seem ungrateful.

The ride over had been quiet. Saoirse had turned on the radio in her red Volkswagon Beetle the sound of new radio filling the car.

Occasionally Chibs and she had made small talk trying to east the awkward tension in the car.

Juice had a hard time focusing on the small talk though nor the radio. All he could think about was Chibs making Saoirse pull over to some muddy ditch so he could put a bullet into the back of Juice's head.

Juice took a sip of water reminding himself that he was just being over vigilant. Chibs wouldn't have brought him all the way to Belfast and into his family home just to enact some vengeance in the name of the Sons.

Juice shifted his stew around in his bowl telling himself that he would have to have a serious talk with Chibs soon enough.

They had to talk about the club, about the past, about what they were supposed to do here in Ireland.

Juice wasn't sure what to make of all this. Was Chibs really offering him a chance to start anew? Was there even a way for someone like him to start over again, or had he made too many mistakes, become too jaded to ever feel whole again?

He couldn't help but to notice how different Chibs seemed sitting at the table eating his food listening to Kerrianne talk about a chemistry exam she had coming up in school.

Juice almost didn't recognize Chibs. He seemed so much lighter, not at all like the man Juice had known in Charming.

He couldn't remember if he'd ever seen Chibs smile like this. Chibs looked as though he didn't have a care in the world sitting in between Fiona and Kerrianne.

He noticed the way Fiona kept smiling at her husband clearly so pleased to finally have him home. It was obvious that the couple was content to finally be reunited after all these years.

Kerrianne was just as ecstatic as her mother to have Chibs back home. She was talking to her father enthusiastically her hands moving in time with her words. She was rattling on and on about her upcoming test and how nervous she was because she couldn't remember half the periodic table.

Juice noticed the way Chibs listened to his daughter so intently hanging on to every word that left her mouth, a small smile on his face. It was pretty clear that Chibs was so proud of his daughter. Juice could see it in Chibs' eyes; a look of absolute adoration.

Chibs seemed to be in paradise at the moment.

Juice glanced over at Saoirse his curiosity spiking over the woman.

He could barely remember her from that trip the Sons had made out to Belfast. He knew that she had been Padriac Telford's old lady, and that she was Chibs' goddaughter, but that was about all he knew about the woman.

She was pretty, Juice couldn't deny that. He liked just how long her hair was. It went almost down to her waist and in certain lights in picked up hints of red.

He had to like her smile as well. She had one of those wide smiles that seemed to light up the space around her. He noticed that her smile only grew when she looked at her godparents.

It was obvious she adored Fiona and Chibs.

He stared down at her wrist his stomach churning at the black crow inked into her skin. He quickly scolded himself for admiring a former old lady.

That was the last thing he needed at the moment; to become attached to anyone who might still be connected to that life.

He turned his eyes away from Saoirse as Chibs spoke up oblivious to the way the younger man had been staring at his goddaughter. "So I'm thinkin we could try talkin to old man Caghan down at Caghan's Garage. He's been lookin to sell that place fer years now from what Fi has told me. It's not far from Fiona's and Saoirse's bakery. That part of town gets a lot of traffic."

"What do you mean? Like buying the place?" Juice remarked raising an eyebrow at the suggestion.

He'd barely gotten over the fact that Chibs was throwing him a lifeline. It was preposterous to think that he was possibly wanting to start a garage with him as well.

"Aye I was thinkin it might be worth a shot. I have tha money...been savin shite up fer years and Fi and I've known Ron Caghan fer years now. He was tha one who sold me my first bike. His son is part owner, but I'm sure we could talk him into lettin his da sell his shares of the business to us. What do ya say Juicey? It'd be a good way to get outta the life. We both know cars and bikes like tha back of our own hands." Chibs explained his heart hurting a bit when he spotted the doubt in Juice's eyes.

He knew it was his own damn fault. He'd dropped the ball in dealing with Juice's pain so many times through out these past few years.

Juice shifted a carrot around on his plate his mind going through all the pros and cons of what Chibs was suggesting.

He had to feel that he didn't have much to offer the world outside of his criminal past. He had been a criminal most of his life; rather it be through hacking or stealing, or the MC.

Still Juice found the idea of running a garage with his long time mentor to be something he might enjoy.

Chibs was right it would be a good way to distance themselves from the MC. Juice had never thought he would go straight. And he sure as hell hadn't thought Chibs would.

"Okay...sounds like a plan." Juice replied having made his decision.

"Aye alrigh then. I think this calls fer a drink Juicey." Chibs exclaimed clearly thrilled that Juice was trusting him enough to do this.

Fiona chuckled giving her husband a half grin. "Ya think everything calls fer a drink lovey."

Chibs let out a huff giving his wife a kiss on the lips as he hopped up from the table heading to the kitchen for glasses and booze. "Aye and ya love it."

"Can I have a drink da?" Kerrianne jumped at the chance.

Both her parents spoke without missing a beat. "No. Yer havin soda."

Juice watched the couple's exchange a little envious to have that sort of relationship with someone. It must be nice, he thought to himself, to have that sort of trust and friendship with another person.

It must be nice to know that you weren't alone in this life.

It was something Juice had never experienced in his life; real love.

Yes he'd had plenty of girlfriends, but he had never felt a connection to them, or at least what he considered a real connection.

He wondered if perhaps Fiona and Chibs were some sort of abnormality. Perhaps they were one of the lucky few; able to love one another despite the pain and the past.

Maybe they were just the lucky ones?

Juice knew that he didn't have that kind of luck.

He glanced over at Saoirse noticing the same look flash through her eyes.

He had to wonder if perhaps Padriac Telford's former old lady was looking for a little love and trust as well?

Juice shook his head at this thought. He was in no place to give Saoirse any of that.

Hell he couldn't even love himself half the time. How could he give love to anyone when he hated himself?

He took another sip of water pushing all these thoughts from his head.

This was a new start. He knew that he had to leave the past in the past.

Could he really do it though? Could he leave behind his burdens and find some peace? Or was he too far gone?

* * *

Saoirse held back her yawn as Juice and she made their way next door to her home. She fumbled with the keys struggling a bit to open her door at first the booze they'd ingested during and after dinner making her head a bit foggy.

At least she would get some sleep tonight, Saoirse thought to herself. She always slept the best when she was tipsy.

It seemed as though the alcohol kept her demons at bay for a short while at least.

Juice noticed that her home seemed to be filled with an abundance of different colors and textures. It was a big change from the calm soft cheery feel of Fiona's house.

The décor could be best described as a little quirky. There was no real set style to the place.

The homemade pillows on the sofa were shaped like sprinkled pink donuts. There was an old beaten up oriental rug on the floor. There was a skull shaped cookie jar sitting out on the coffee table. There were Japanese lanterns hanging from the ceiling. There were plenty of empty whiskey and tequila bottles filled with fake silk flowers.

It was all just a mis-mash of different things. Juice couldn't help but to find it a little chaotic.

Saoirse spoke up trying to play good hostess as she flipped on the zebra print lamp by the sofa. "The layout is tha same as Filip and Fiona's house. Feel free ta help yerself ta anythin in the kitchen. I stocked up on tha beer Chibs said ya liked. He said ya like health food as well...so we can go shoppin maybe tomorrow afternoon and ya can get some things ya like. I know I don't have much that could be considered healthy...jus some apples. I kinda live on junk food unless Fiona cooks fer me. I'd probably weigh a million pounds if I didn't balance it out with runnin."

She cleared her throat realizing that she was rambling. It was one of her worst habits; running her mouth when she should really just shut up. She'd tried for years to teach herself that silence was okay sometimes.

The only problem lately though was that if she was silent for too long her brain started to catch up with her and shit just got painful and too disorganized. That was what had got her into the drugs to begin with.

It had been a way to silence her chaotic brain.

"Thank you." Juice replied dumbfounded that she was being so courteous. He'd long ago forgotten that people could actually be kind without wanting anything in return.

She felt her cheeks flush as she picked up a few empty soda cans off the coffee table tossing them in the recycling bin. "Sorry...I aint tha best housekeeper on the planet."

Juice twisted his lips knowing that this might be a problem. He was a neat freak, actually he was beyond neat freak he was ocd prone.

He cringed at the magazines sitting spread out across the coffee table, the empty beer bottles on the kitchen counter, the full garbage cans, the muddy shoes lying by the front door, and the layer of dust ontop of the television.

He took a deep breath reminding himself to maybe do a quick house cleaning while Saoirse was at work tomorrow.

Juice knew that the only way he'd feel truely at home here is if there was a bit of symmetry to the place. He liked a spotless environment.

He followed Saoirse upstairs to the spare bedroom Saoirse speaking as she opened the door and flipped on the lightswitch. "Make yerself at home. I emptied out the dresser fer ya and there's fresh towels in tha bathroom.."

"Okay thanks." Juice blurted out a bit lost as to what else he could say.

Saoirse shifted a bit in place just as lost. She had noticed just how quiet Juice had been at dinner.

She had tried to tell herself that it was just jetlag, but the emptiness in Juice's eyes told a different story.

She had seen that own look in her eyes the day she'd buried Padriac.

Saoirse thought back to all Fiona had told her about Juice; that he was in trouble with SAMCRO, that no one involved with the MC could know that he was here in Belfast.

She wondered just what kind of demons Juice was running from.

Juice studied the room relieved to find that it was much calmer than the rest of the house. It was plain almost like a blank slate; white walls, no artwork, a plain white and green quilt on the wooden framed queen bed.

He was relieved to find that it wasn't feminine. Though a small part of his brain knew that even if the room was covered from floor to ceiling in flowers and pink that he wouldn't complain. It was a warm safe place to sleep; a place far away from Charming and SAMCRO.

Saoirse spoke up wanting to make him feel comfortable. "My Uncle seems ta love ya."

Juice raised an eyebrow at this quickly decoding that _Uncle _meant Chibs. "I don't know about that...shit has been messy between us for a while now."

"Aye...that's what Fi said...Don't doubt that he loves ya though. Chibs can be...well he can be a stubborn bastard when he puts his mind to it...Ya wouldn't be here with us if he didn't care though." Saoirse replied still shifting in place her body unable to find a sense of calm.

He sighed wanting to tell her that she didn't know what she was talking about. He held it in though knowing that it wouldn't be wise to pick a fight with the woman who was letting him stay in her apartment.

Saoirse ran her hands through her long hair stiffling another yawn as she spoke. "I'll leave ya to sleep then. I get up early in tha mornins...but I won't wake ya. There's breakfast stuff in tha kitchen and I'll leave ya some coffee...Like I said help yerself."

Juice nodded his head giving Saoirse a weak smile it not reaching his eyes as he spoke up. "Thanks...goodnight."

"Aye goodnight to ya Juice." Saoirse remarked moving ot leave the room.

Juice spoke up surprising himself and her. "Do ya think you could just call me JC...I'm not feeling the Juice thing right now...I guess it sort of reminds me of bad shit."

Saoirse gave him a soft smile nodding her head. "Aye alrigh then JC...I'll ask ya what it stands fer later."

And with that she left the room leaving Juice alone to think.

He plopped down on the bed his head spinning as a million in one thoughts ran through his mind.

_JC? _Where had that come from?

He knew the answer of course, Being Juice reminded him of the club. JC was who he'd been back in Queens, back with his mother and sister, back before he'd gotten into trouble that first time, back before he ran to Charming and the Sons.

Maybe it would be a good idea to be JC again for just a little while? Maybe he needed to remember who he was to find himself again?

* * *

_Reviews? Constructive Criticism?_

_Saoirse= Sear+Sha_

_I've created a pinterest board for this story btw. It's on my profile page._


	7. Starting Over and Freaking Out

Chibs pulled his dyna into the parking lot of Kerrianne's school St. Andrews. It was a nice large gated in two story building complete with a separate chapel building where the students attended a service each morning before classes, as well as a large tennis court, lacrosse court, a large gym, and two other separate buildings one for art classes and one for the auditorium.

Chibs was impressed with the size of the campus. It was a coed campus which Chibs had mixed feelings about to be honest.

On one had he was grateful that his daughter wasn't being forced to go to an all girls school like Fiona who'd hated it, but on the other hand to be blunt _boys. _

Chibs hated the idea of any members of the teenage male species being anywhere around his daughter.

He knew exactly how teenage boys thought; he'd been one and he had been a gross one. It was amazing Fiona hadn't kicked his ass when they'd been teenagers.

Chibs didn't want any gross horny teenage boys putting their paws near his baby girl. He didn't want any lads like him around Kerrianne.

He'd been tempted to bring this concern up with Fiona, but Chibs had the feeling that his wife would shut him down before he even got half the sentence out.

Chibs let out a frustrated huff as an all too helpful voice in the back of his head peeped up _Your Kerrianne is a grown woman. She's old enough to date all the boys she wants._

He shook his head ignoring this bothersome voice. His daughter wasn't going to be dating any time soon if he could help it.

He took his helmet off smoothing back his hair before he sat on the edge of his bike. He kept a close eye out for his daughter.

Chibs had asked Fiona just which building Kerrianne would be exiting from and he hoped that he'd picked the exact building; most of the buildings on this campus looked the same.

Of course he hadn't told Fiona the real reason about just why he was so insistent on picking up their daughter today.

He'd just said that he was looking for some father bonding time, which wasn't far from the truth really. Truthfully though he was looking to buy his wife a new wedding band plue engagement ring.

He needed his daughter to help him pick out the perfect ring; after all she knew her mother's tastes better than anyone in this world. She would be able to reassure her father and Chibs knew it.

He hated shopping. He was far too indecisive for the task especially when it came to picking out something for his wife.

Chibs also knew that this would be a good chance for Kerrianne and he to reconnect.

Chibs wasn't stupid enough to think that he hadn't tainted his relationship with his daughter by staying away for so long. He knew that Kerrianne was old enough to notice his absence and to draw her own conclusions as to why he'd been absent from her life since they'd been reunited just a few years before.

Kerrianne wasn't the type to cause any fuss and call her father out on his behavior. She was the type to hide her true feelings in hopes of not causing any hurt feelings. Chibs knew that his daughter was a people pleaser to the core.

It was something Fiona had been long trying to break Kerrianne of. It wasn't an easy task though.

Kerrianne liked to keep everyone around her happy even if it meant keeping her sorrows in.

Chibs knew that it might be a long while before his Kerrianne trusted him once again. It would take some time for her to truly believe that he was home for good now and that the MC wasn't going to be number one in his life any longer. He was willing to put in the effort though.

Going ring shopping with Kerrianne was the perfect opportunity to restart the bonding process with his daughter.

As Chibs sat back on his Harley he couldn't help but to remember how he'd sat exactly like this on his bike outside of Fiona's all-girls school back when he was still seventeen.

As he waited for the school bells to ring he let his mind drift off back to those days.

_Filip let a cigarette hang from between his lips as he sat back on his Harley. He ignored the few nuns that were out milling about from within St. Brigid's gated school yards._

_The fancy Catholic all-girls school day ran a bit longer than Filip's public school day. It was a bit of a blessing given that it gave Filip just enough time to ride his bike over to Fiona's school before it let out for the day._

_He had been picking her up after school since the day they met a few months earlier. It had started up after Fiona had mentioned that she despised having to walk home alone. _

_From that moment on Chibs had found himself picking her up on his new Harley. It wasn't the nicest bike, he'd gotten it for cheap and had somehow managed to make the repairs. It was still a bit rusty in places though._

_Thankfully Fiona didn't mind his rusty Harley. _

_When Filip had started picking her up it had just set in to motion the tiny crush she was beginning to develop on him._

_It had only been the week before when they'd had their first real date. It had been to a cheesy horror movie and then Filip had taken her for fish and chips. _

_She hadn't gotten up the nerve to kiss him, mainly given the fact that they'd just eaten fish, but she hoped that she would gain a backbone before their next date this weekend._

_Filip stiffled his yawn still tired from the nap he'd had during his last class of the day, as the bell finally rang._

_He searched the crowd for his Fiona but didn't notice her until she pulled away from the crowd. He still found it odd seeing Fiona in her school uniform verses her normal attire. _

_He was used to seeing her in combat boots and chunky sweaters her wild hair hanging around her face, not plaid skirts and flats her curls pulled back tight into a twist. _

_Fiona rolled her eyes as she spotted the cancer stick hanging from his lips. "Yer goin to kill yerself smokin those."_

_He opened his mouth to spit back a smart response but didn't have the opportunity as Fiona plucked the cigarette from in between his lips and took a drag from it. _

_Filip snickered at the action taking her school books from her and stuffing them in his saddle bag as he spoke. "Aye I'm guessin yer not worried bout them killin ya though."_

_She gave him a grin finishing off the cigarette before she tossed it down on the ground below them snubbing it out with her plain black flats. "Do as I say not as I do Filip."_

_He tried not to allow his cheeks to flush as Fiona took him by surprise pressing a kiss to his smooth cheek. She spoke her nose scrunching at the lack of his usual stubble._

_She hated it when he shaved. She preferred him with a light stubble._

"_How was yer day?"_

"_Shite. I got in a nap durin maths though." Filip responded giving her a grin and earning an eye roll from her._

_Fiona had been helping him with his math, but he was still having a difficult time with it. He'd paid her back by helping her write essays. _

_She shook her head sighing. "Yer goin to fail if ya keep it up Filip."_

"_Can ya ride in that?" He blurted out chaning the subject, his own nose scrunching at the sight of her school uniform; a stark pressed white button up blouse, a red plaid school girls skirt, and a navy blue jacket._

_He didn't particularity like her uniform. It didn't look like the Fiona he knew._

"_I bet I can. I always do." She remarked smirking as she spotted the look on his face as he took in her school uniform._

_She spoke again nodding back to her messengers bag. "I'm goin to change into some real clothes if ya can stop at that petrol station on tha way home..or wherever it is were goin."_

"_Aye. Can I help ya with that?" He blurted out not missing a beat a shit eating grin stretching across his face._

_Fiona rolled her eyes giving him another kiss on the cheek. "If ya buy me dinner firs love."_

Chibs was pulled away from this little memory as the bell rang a swarm of students spilling out of St. Andrews.

He tensed up as he saw his Kerrianne and a boy walking side by side. Chibs puffed his chest up attempting to look intimidating as Kerrianne spotted him.

Chibs was relieved as Kerrianne said something quick to the boy not touching him before she ran for her father.

He smirked a little voice in his head piping up _That's right ya teenage prick stay away from my baby or I'll cut yer head off._

He scooped his daughter up as she embraced him in a tight hug. He spoke up pressing a kiss to her cheeks "My baby girl."

She let out a laugh not embarrassed to be hugging her dad out here right in front of all her peers. "Da. What are ya doin here?"

"Thought I'd surprise ya sweetheart." He remarked reluctantly lowering her to the ground.

Kerrianne frowned as her father sent her friend Luke a nasty glare. "Da cut it out."

"I don't like ya datin Kerrianne...especially when yer ma and I haven't met the lad." Chibs remarked sending the teenage boy his best scary look.

He tried to mimic Happy's scary look, but most of Happy's looks were scary to be honest.

Kerrianne felt her cheeks flush as she gave her friend an apologetic look before turning back to her dad. "Da Luke is gay. We aren't dating. Boys don't pay attention to me."

Chibs tore his eyes away from the boy his lips twisting. He didn't buy the gay comment for even a second.

He was torn between wanting to celebrate Kerrianne's lack of attention from males and wanting to provide his daughter a self esteem boost. "Datings not all it's cracked up to be. Trust me aingeal."

She rolled her eyes not quite buying that line. She spoke her voice holding a hint of irritation. "Did ya come here jus so ya could glare at my friends?"

Chibs let out a huff silently reminding himself to have a serious talk with Fiona about their daughter's friends.

He spoke up trying to wipe the sneer off his face and give his daughter a calm smile. "I have a surprise fer ya."

He handed her the spare helmet he'd brought along unstrapping the black helmet from the back of the bike. "Here climb on."

"I've never riddin a bike da...I only rode Padriac's once but Jimmy O' put a stop to that." She admitted her voice holding a tone of fear.

Chibs tried not to focus on the words _Jimmy O'. _He gave her a smile helping her strap the helmet over her head. "Well we're goin to put an end to that. It's real easy love. Ya just lean with me when I turn and wrap yer arms around my waist. Yer ma used to ride with me all tha time when she was yer age."

Kerrianne raised an eyebrow her voice filled with disbelief. "Ma rode yer Harley?"

He chuckled trying hard not to fall over with laughter. "Aye. Yer ma hasn't always been a ma love. I could tell ya so many stories if I thought yer ma wouldn't claw me eyes out."

She grinned her interest peeking at this. Just what didn't she know about her ma? She spoke not helping but to whine. "Tell me da. Please jus one story."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead shaking his head. "Some other time love. That nun is givin me a dirty look. I think we better get outta here before she calls the cops."

Kerrianne giggled at this comment spotting the nun he was talking about. It was Sister Mary Louise, she was a real witch.

She took her father's hand allowing him to help her situate herself on the back of his Harley.

Kerrianne wrapped her arms around her father's waist squeezing tightly. She closed her eyes letting out a squeak as the motorcycle was brought to life and took off zooming out of the parking lot.

Chibs tried not to snicker at the little squeak. He placed a hand over his daughters tightened fists giving her a pat.

He would make a biker out of her one way or another.

* * *

Kerrianne widened her eyes confusion taking over as her father finally pulled his bike up to an old jewelry shop.

She spoke up her legs a little shaky from the ride as her dad helped her climb off the bike. "What are we doin here?"

"We're getting somethin fer yer ma. I need yer help ta pick it out." Chibs explained placing both helmets on the back of his bike.

She followed her father still a bit wide eyed into the shop. He made a beeline to a glass display containing rings of all sizes and shapes.

Kerrianne stared down at the variety of rings as she spoke up her eyes still so wide. "We're buyin ma a ring?"

Chibs nodded his head giving Kerrianne a side hug as he spoke. "Aye. An engagement ring and some wedding bands if I can swing it."

Kerrianne couldn't help but to glare up at the salesman as he gave Chibs a look of distain before speaking. "Can I help you?"

She spoke up her hostile tone of voice shocking Chibs. "We're lookin fer a ring fer my ma. And some wedding bands as well."

Chibs cleared his throat dumbfounded to realize that Kerrianne sounded just like Fiona when she was pissed.

He cleared his throat trying not to chuckle at this realization. "Aye. I'm interested in somethin with a sapphire if that's at all possible. It's my wife's birthstone."

The salesman cleared his throat a little thrown of by the venom spilling off the otherwise meek looking teenage girl. "Okay. Just let me step into the back for a second. I have a new shipment of sapphire rings I think you may find interesting."

Kerrianne didn't speak again until the salesman was out of sight. "Do people always glare at ya da?"

He gave his daughter a sad tight smile. "I've gotten used to it love. Growin up where yer ma and I did ya had to get accustomed ta people bein cruel."

She frowned suddenly realizing just how hard her parents had worked to ensure that she had a life far from the one they'd grown up in.

Kerrianne had never really taken the time to consider just how difficult her father's childhod must have been.

She knew very little about it, just what she'd heard from her mother. She knew that her da's father had been abusive beating her grandmother. She knew that her da had started working when he was barely fourteen to help support the family.

It must have been hell, Kerrianne realized.

Yes she had been raised around Jimmy O', but at least she could say that her real da had never hurt her mother.

She had never had to work a job not counting the occasional cashier shift she took over at Fiona's and Saoirse's bakery.

She opened her mouth wanting to say something anything, but she didn't have to opprotunity as he father changed the subject. "We'll go get some ice cream after this, Okay."

Kerrianne nodded her head reminding herself that she would find a way to thank her parents.

One day she would thank them for all that they'd done for her.

She turned her eyes away from her da as the salesman returned holding a tray of shiny rings. Chibs peered down at him feeling so overwhelmed already. "What bout that one? What'd ya think of this Kerri?"

Kerrianne raised her eyebrows at the ring he'd pointed out. To be blunt it was hideous; big and clunky and far too extravagant for her mother. It made Kerrianne think of some of the costume jewelry she wore when she did musicals. It just looked cheap to her. "I don't think that's a good one da."

"How bout this one?" She stated pausing as she pointed out a smaller simple ring.

He shook his head sighing. The ring was pretty but it was far too simple. It made him think of Fiona's old engagement ring; the sad little diamond. "No that ones too plain. I always promised yer ma I'd get her a more extravangant ring someday. That one is too much like the one I gave her when we first married."

"What did ma's ring look like?" Kerrianne asked her curiousity peeking. She couldn't remember her mothers engagement ring to her father.

Chibs gave her a smile shaking his head. "It was a bit pathetic love. It was just a chip of a diamond in this thin gold band. It was all I could afford."

"Ma liked it though?" She asked tilding her head to the side guessing that her mother had to have liked the ring. They had gotten married after all.

"Aye she did. Yer ma has never been the type ta care bout extravagance. I wanted ta give her somethin more though. Yer ma deserves something special after all we've been through...tha three of us as a family." Chibs explained pausing for a moment his throat growing tight.

Kerrianne reached out grasping her father's hand not able to stand the look in his eyes. He looked so sad. She knew why; he was thinking back to Jimmy O' and all the horrible things their family had been through.

Chibs gave her hand a squeeze taking a deep breath as he spoke up. "Pick out somethin a bit different love. Something simple but elegant. That's tha best fit fer ya ma I think."

She nodded her head not letting go of her father's hand until his breathing had evened out. She smiled as she finally spotted the perfect ring. "That one. I think that one is perfect da."

He stared down at just what his daughter was pointing at. A small smile developed along his face; it was perfect. Just as perfect as his Fiona.

"Well take that one." Chibs blurted out pressing a kiss to Kerrianne's temple.

This was going to be perfect. He could feel it.

* * *

Juice followed Saoirse through the grocery store his mind still fuzzy from jetlag.

Saoirse had told him that he could stay in her apartment and get some sleep, but he'd refused. He had already peeked in on her food options late last night after she'd gone to bed, and needless to say he was horrified.

He didn't understand how anyone could survive on junkfood, booze, and leftover Chinese takeout. Saoirse's diet apparently was a bit of a nightmare. She must have some magical metabolism if she lived on that shit.

Juice cringed as he watched Saoirse drop some horrid looking kids cereal called _Sugar Bits _into her cart. He was tempted to ask her about cavities but kept it in.

Saoirse glanced back at Juice as she tossed a box of Captin Crunch into her cart. "Do ya like oatmeal?"

"Do they have organic?" he dared to ask having a feeling that he already knew the answer.

She raised an eyebrow as they stopped in front of the oatmeal selection. "They have steelcut oats. I can get that and some porridge."

"Could we get some juice too?" Juice blurted out knowing that he wouldn't survive with the drink options at Saoirse's house.

Saoirse nodded her head knowing that he probably wouldn't be too pleased with the drink choices at her house. All she had was booze, sodas, and tap water.

She had begun to rely on her nightly drinks of Guinness and Jameson in these past few years.

She hadn't been such a big drinker when Padriac was still alive.

Saoirse knew of course that she'd probably replaced her opiate habit with booze, but she was chosing not to focus on it too much.

The alcohol would kill her a hell of a lot slower than the opiates.

Juice spoke up as they made their way down the next aisle Saoirse stopping and dropping a few cans of soup into the cart. "You're close to Fiona and Chibs?"

"Aye they practically raised me. My da wasn't quite in tha state to raise me." She admitted trying to hide the way her voice dipped at the mention of her father.

Ian O'Connell had been too broken up by his wife Claire's death to be a proper dad.

One of Saoirse's biggest regrets in life was not really talking to her dad; making him see that the had to buck up and be a da to her despite his sorrows.

"Really? How was that?" Juice asked not helping but to be curious about this side of Chibs.

He had a hard time thinking of Chibs away from the club and his behavior as a Son.

She shrugged her shoulders as she tossed a few boxes of crackers into her cart. "It was nice I guess...It was better when Chibs was still here...ya know before Jimmy O'."

She paused clearing her throat her stomach aching to think of Jimmy O'Phelan. "Uncle Chibs was always good ta me. He used ta spoil me ta be honest. He'd always have chocolates fer me...which is probably why I have such a sweet tooth. He'd always buy me dolls too. I still have all tha dolls and teddy bears he bought me. He used ta buy me snowglobes fer my birthday. Fiona was always more a tha serious one as far as dealin with me. I mean she did bake cookies with me and take me roller skating...but she used ta be the one who made me do my homework and didn't let me eat junk before dinner."

Saoirse gave Juice a sad smile as she spoke up again. "Fi took me in after my da died...If it wasn't fer her I don't know what woulda happened to me. She kept tha wolves from my door ya know. She protected me."

Juice frowned spotting the flash of pain in Saoirse's eyes. He had to wonder just what kind of horrors she had seen in her life.

She didn't give him a chance to ask as she spoke up again her eyes shifting to the bags of crisps. "I'm just happy that Chibs is finally back home...Fiona and Kerrianne missed him. He can be a bit foolish at times with his loyalty."

"Yeah tell me about it." He remarked his voice holding a hint of bitterness.

Juice was still so hurt by the way Chibs had shut him out.

Saoirse frowned hearing this resentful tone. She tightened her grip on the cart wanting to snap at Juice for speaking about her _uncle _with such resentment.

She took a deep breath pushing back the overprotective bitch into her box.

She spoke up her eyes boring into Juice's. "If Chibs didn't love ya then ya wouldn't be here JC. He makes a lot of mistakes I know...but he's tryin here. Ya need ta give him a chance. I don't know what shite has happened between ya..I know yer in pain whatever it was, but show him some respect when ya want ta talk bout him in front of me. Ya may be angry with him but he's really the only real da I've ever known."

Juice tightened his jaw wanting to snap back at her that she had no idea what he had been through. She didn't know how hard it had been for him.

He didn't have the chance to say any of this as Saoirse spoke up her voice no longer so friendly. "I have ta work late tonight. I'm goin to be up at the bakery most of tha night. We have a wedding cake we're workin on and I have ta do a bunch of sugar flowers. I'm goin to leave ya the money fer a pizza."

Juice resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Saoirse turned her eyes away from him and moved forward her grip tight on the cart.

He knew he'd struck a nerve letting his anger towards Chibs out in front of Saoirse.

Juice sighed knowing that he better figure out a way to ease the tension between Saoirse and he or his life in her house would be a disaster.

He silently made a note to himself to pay her a visit at the bakery tonight; maybe if he brought her some pizza as a peace offering she wouldn't bite his head off.

He bit the inside of his cheek her words ringing in his head.

_If Chibs didn't love you then you wouldn't be here._

* * *

Fiona raised an eyebrow as she watched her husband stand over the sink scrubbing the dishes from dinner.

He was up to something. She could tell when he had something up his sleeve.

Kerrianne had been mysteriously eager to get upstairs and start her homework which only deepened Fiona's suspicions.

Fiona stood beside Chibs standing up on her toes so she could press a kiss to his temple. "What are you up to lovey? Ya seemed pretty eager fer me to trade shifts with Saoirse tonight."

"Ya will know soon enough. Jus let me finish up these dishes." Chibs remarked giving her a small smirk as he continued to scrub the pasta pan.

She chuckled at this nodding over to the dishwasher. "Ya know we have this new invention called a dishwasher. Ya don't have ta do em by hand."

Chibs nodded his head as he continued to scrub. "Aye I know. I jus thought me doin this by hand would make a bigger impact on me tryin to be sweet."

She grinned moving to the other side of the sink and grabbing a towel. "Let me dry then. I wanta get to my surprise."

She spoke again as they continued to work together. "So is my surprise edible? Or is it fluffy, or maybe it's sexy?"

Chibs snorted at this comment shaking his head. "Just wait."

Fiona let out a huff shaking her head. "I've never been good at waitin...So how was yer afternoon with Kerri?"

"Good. I took her for ice cream. I don't like that boy she's been hanging out with though." Chibs was quick to point out his body growing tense at the memory of the teenager he'd seen her walk out of the school with.

"Which lad?" Fiona asked trying not to chuckle at the look of overprotective daddy written all over his face.

He passed her a clean dish allowing her to dry it as he explained. "Luke. Or at least that's what I think she said his name is. She told me he's gay, but don't lasses her age use that lie when they're tryin to calm down their das."

She let out a sigh nodding her head. "I would agree with that, but I've met Luke. Trust me sweet boy he's gay."

Chibs rolled his eyes still not buying it. He spoke up his voice growing tight. "Please tell me Kerrianne hasn't been out on her firs date yet?"

Fiona pressed a kiss to his cheek taking the final clean dish from him. "No Filip she hasn't. She's a bit of a late bloomer. She's not too happy bout it though."

He shook his head his voice still so tense. "She's not ready to date Fi."

She tilted her head to the side raising an eyebrow. "Ya do realize she's eighteen now darling?"

Chibs pulled the drain allowing the soapy water to tornado down the drain before he tossed the stopper up on the counter. "Aye don't remind me."

He paused his voice soft as he dried his hands. "I missed so much Fi...I missed so damn much."

He turned his eyes to the floor taking a deep breath as he tried to hold back his tears. He wanted tonight to be a happy one, and sobbing because his daughter was an adult didn't equal happy.

Fiona placed the final clean dish into the drying rack drying her hands off as she made her way over to her husband.

She placed a gentle hand on his cheek forcing him to look up at her. "She's always goin to be yer baby love."

She paused clearing her throat her stomach rolling as she dared to speak again saying the one thing that had been rolling around in her head for so long. "We're still young ya know...We could have a baby still...ya know if ya wanted."

Chibs widened his eyes both astonished and amazed with this statement. He spoke up his throat growing tight. "Do ya want another baby Fiona?"

Fiona gave him a soft crooked smile her shoulders shrugging. "Maybe...I wouldn't strike down tha idea...we did want a big family Filip."

She paused her stomach churning so fast, what if he didn't want a baby, what if she'd just made the situation so damn awkward. "What bout ya? Don't jus tell me what ya think would make me happy ta hear. I mean it Filip, I want ya to be honest."

He sighed his brain going a mile a second. Did he want another baby? Was he too old for what they were discussing?

Chibs sighed knowing the answer. This was Fiona, of course he wanted another child with her. He was just scared that he was too damn old to be a proper dad. "Maybe lass. I wouldn't be upset if ya got pregnant."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead doing his best to reassure her and take away any of the awkward energy in the air that this discussion had stirred up. "Let's just decide that if it happens It happens. We still have time love. Lets sleep on it a few days and then talk bout it again?"

Fiona gave him a tight smile trying to hide any disappointment she felt swirling within her.

It wasn't that she wanted them to try for a baby right this instant. She had just been hoping for a more enthusiastic response from him. He seemed freaked out to be honest, and his discomfort made Fiona anxious.

He pulled away from her needing a change in conversation. "I got something fer ya."

Chibs took her by shock as he went over to the little round dining room table reaching into his leather jacket that he'd hung over the back of his chair.

Her shock only grew as Chibs dropped down to his knees opening a blue velvet box to reveal a stunning round sapphire gem on a silver band. The sapphire was cushioned in between two tiny diamonds. "Marry me Fiona."

She dropped down to her knees in front of him her voice rising as excitement took over. "We're already married Filip."

"Aye. I know that...I jus thought..ya know we could sorta renew or vows...just me ya and Kerrianne. We could have Saoirse and Juice with us too to watch. We could sort of do a private ceremony...write out new vows and have a proper honeymoon. It could be our way of startin over." He explained fearing that she would think he was being ridiculous.

Fiona pushed all the doubt from his mind as she pressed her lips to his. She pulled back a grin on her face as tears of joy began to fall from her eyes. "Yes..I will marry ya Filip Telford."

He slipped the ring on her finger their lips colliding once again.

This was the perfect start to something amazing. Chibs had no doubt in his mind that it would be just that; amazing.

* * *

_Reviews? Constructive Criticism? _

_There will be more Juice and Saoirse moments in the next chapter btw. _

_aingeal= (Scottish Gaelic) Angel  
_


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